Hey kiddos
Thank you, as usual, for the wonderful comments
im glad someone likes my crazy writings! here is chapter 4 - beware, i had a bit too much fun writing this one
oooh, and O/K up for best kiss for the TCA? that is our calling to vote like crazyyyyy!
When The Time Is Right
Chapter 4 - A New Twist on Siamese Twins
November 2002 Orlando sighed, shifting his weight from one foot to another. They were shooting yet another rigorous fighting scene. In the last shot, he hurt his shoulder and could feel an ache starting.
Even with the pain, Orlando couldn’t help but feel blessed. He was doing what he loved and he was making some quick friends. Johnny was a chameleon. One second he would be cracking jokes, and in an instant, he would be discussing French philosophical concepts. Jack Davenport was a down-to-earth guy who had a wry sense of humor while Mackenzie was a genuinely nice guy.
And Keira. How could he forget Keira? In the last month, he had become very close with her. After their first night of shooting, she wandered over to his condo and complained about how she was starving because she didn’t know how to cook. Orlando had already gotten the hang of cooking during the Lord of the Rings shooting so he offered to help her learn. Their friendship blossomed in the small kitchen and Orlando realized he started to see her in a bit more than a friendly way.
But it didn’t matter because she had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who would be visiting soon. That suited Orlando fine because his relationship with Kate was going amazingly well. She was unlike any of his other girlfriend. The only thing that she had in common with them was that she was blonde.
“Hey mate. You alright there?” Johnny asked, coming to sit down next to Orlando.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I just hit my shoulder in the last shot.” Orlando said, rolling his shoulders and wincing at the same time.
“Get some ice on it while you can. We have to do the shot again.” Johnny said, as Orlando groaned.
“But I thought we did it well last time!” Orlando groaned, not looking forward to having to replay the fight scene in the hot musty set.
“We did, but Jerry said something about the lighting was off.” Johnny grinned, stretching his legs out. “Anyway, where is Keira?”
“How should I know?” Orlando said, “She isn’t scheduled for any shots today so she is probably getting ready for Jamie.”
”I figured since you guys are attached at the hip, you would know where she is.” Johnny grinned, taking a swig of water. “Jamie, eh? That’s her bloke? Careful Orlando, you have competition.”
Orlando huffed, “For goodness sakes. Can’t a guy and a girl be friends?”
“Of course they can.” Jack Davenport said, hearing Orlando’s last comment. “Just not a guy named Orlando and a girl named Keira.
Jack and Johnny laughed as Orlando growled at the two of them. “What are you two going on about?”
“Give it up Orlando!” Jack said, shoving his shoulder slightly. “We see the way you look at her, like a puppy dog. And she is just as pathetic, always fawning over you.”
Orlando shook his head in disgust. “You lot have a twisted mind. We are friends, we care about each other, not fawn over each other. Anyway, she has a boyfriend, and I do have a girlfriend.”
“Whatever you say!” Jack said in a singsong voice as Orlando gritted his teeth.
Lucky, Orlando was saved when Jerry called out for them to resume the shot. Yet Orlando couldn’t get the conversation out of his mind. Did everyone really think that of him and Keira? Sure, he had a small crush on her, but it wasn’t hard not to. She was funny, cute, and physically attractive. But it was the first time that Orlando had actually been good friends with a girl. Usually it ended up with him shagging them or something of that affect. He cherished the different relationship he had with Keira and he wasn’t going to be quick to lose it.
---
Orlando groaned as his rubbed his shoulder. A few days later, the ache was still there. It didn’t help much that they had been shooting action shots the entire time so he didn’t have much time to rest.
“Is your shoulder still hurting?” Keira asked, coming up to him. They were shooting the scene where Barbossa captures Elizabeth and he is ready to cut her hand so that the blood can make the Black Pearl crew free.
“Yeah.” Orlando winced, “I put some ice on it last night.”
”Did you put the bag of peas on it, like I told you so?” Keira said, smirking.
”No.” He said, giving her a look, “It sounds strange.”
“I’m telling you, it works amazingly! Whenever we pulled muscles for Bend It, the director made us put a bag of peas on the shoulder.” Keira said earnestly.
“I don’t know what you are getting at. What is the difference between a bag of peas and a bag of ice? They both are cold.” Orlando said.
“Peas, peas, the magical fruit!” Keira sang, a bit off-key.
”Keira.” Orlando said, grinning, “First of all, it’s beans, and second of all, I don’t want to toot.”
The two of them laughed as Jerry strode over to them.
“You two ready to start?” Jerry asked, giving them a knowing look. Keira blushed as Orlando scowled. Everyone had been on their case lately about being close. Orlando didn’t care about it and was glad that Keira didn’t either.
”Yeah.” Orlando said, giving his shoulder one last rub.
”What’s wrong with your shoulder?” Jerry asked concerned. If one of his actors were hurt, he wanted them to rest, not make it worse.
“I hurt it the other day.” Orlando said, “But it’s okay, it feels better now.”
Jerry looked at his shoulder, noticing the lack of bruises or swelling. “It looks okay. Have it checked out by the crew doctor. Maybe you should put a bag of frozen peas on it.” Jerry shrugged, “My daughter did it all the time for volleyball. I don’t know what it does but apparently it makes it feel better.”
Keira burst out laughing, as she followed Jerry with a scowling Orlando in tow. She couldn’t help but call over her shoulder, “I told you so!”
---
“Cut!”
The entire cast sighed, as the crew went into a flurry of work. They had been having problems with the lighting all day long and that kept disrupting the fluidity of the acting.
Keira plopped down on the ground, amidst the jewels. She had to admit, even if the lighting as not good, the jewels and coins of the treasures sparkled.
Orlando wandered over to where she was and sat down on a pile of coins. The coins all shifted to accompany his weight, resulting in a makeshift chair.
“Smart idea!” Keira said, as she did the same.
“Boys are kinda good at that.” Orlando smirked at her.
“Really? Is your shoulder better now?” Keira said, sticking her tongue out.
The two laughed as they fell into a comfortable silence. Everyone was scurrying around them, trying to create more light in the dark cave. Keira sifted through the jewels. Even if they were fake, they were still brilliantly shiny and Keira had a thing for shiny things.
Orlando laughed, as she put on a tiara and 5 gold necklaces. “If you got on the ship, you would end up sinking.”
“Maybe I can join the mermaids. They are prettier than the not-dead people.” Keira said, fixing her crown and then striking a pose.
“Very nice.” Orlando said, admiring her. Only Keira Knightley would manage to look beautiful under a layer of soot.
“Hey.” Keira said, as she held up a pair of handcuffs. “Look what I found!”
Realizing that he wouldn’t be able to take a quick nap with Keira around, Orlando opened his eyes. “Kinky.” He winked at her as she blushed.
“Shut up!” Keira said, trying to hid her flaming cheeks. She leaned over and in one fluid movement, snapped on the handcuff around his hand.
“Hey!” Orlando yelped, as Keira tried to grab is other hand. “That’s not cool!”
Keira giggled, “You were the one that wanted to get kinky!”
Orlando laughed, “I was thinking with you.” Suddenly, a slight scuffled erupted, with Keira trying to get the handcuff on Orlando’s other hand and him trying to get away form her. The rest of the crew noticed the sudden movement of coins and looked over to see the two of them wrestling. Jack, Johnny, Jerry, Gore, Geoffrey and the others all gave each other knowing looks.
Click.“AHA!” Both of them said together and then looked at each other confusedly. Keira thought she got Orlando and Orlando thought he got Keira.
“I WIN!” Orlando said, pumping his fist in the air. Except, he misjudged his aim and almost hit Keira who was straddling his stomach.
Keira scowled at him. “Shut up! You almost hit me.” She stood up, dragging Orlando up with her. They realized that they were handcuffed together and started to laugh hysterically.
Catching the attention of everyone else, Gore decided to be the one to investigate. “What’s wrong?”
“We handcuffed ourselves to each other.” Keira laughed, pointing to their hands.
Gore laughed, “Good job. Well, get them off. We are ready to shoot.”
Keira and Orlando stopped laughing, looking at each other uneasily.
“Keira? Where is the key.”
“There wasn’t any.”
The two of them realized what had happened at the same moment.
sh*t.“Uh…” Keira said, noticing that everyone was waiting for them to get into place. “C’mon, we have to go to Jerry.”
Keira strode quickly away, yanking Orlando along. He had to practically run to keep up with her strides so that the handcuff wouldn’t dig into his wrist.
Jerry noticed the two of them approaching. “Come on guys, we are all ready.”
Keira bit her lip, looking at Orlando who gave her a look clearly telling her that it was her fault. “Jerry, we have a problem.”
Jerry looked at the two of them with concern. “What’s wrong?” Noticing their hands, his face lit up with comprehension. “Please tell me…”
“Yep.” Orlando said, glaring at Keira who was fidgeting slightly.
“Oh my god.” Jerry said, sitting down in his director’s chair. Gore was standing behind them trying not to laugh.
“Where is the key?” Jerry asked, looking at the two of them with a look that said ‘This happens in the movies, not on movie sets’
Keira cleared her throat. “Um, funny story. I don’t know if there is one. It was in the pile of treasures. It might have just been thrown in the pile.”
Jerry dropped his head into his hands as Johnny and Geoffrey walked over. “What’s going on?” Johnny asked, as he noticed Orlando’s smirk, Keira’s bright red face and Jerry’s despair.
Orlando held up his hand, and jangled the handcuffs. Johnny and Geoffrey looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. Gore couldn’t help it anymore and joined in as Jerry and Keira glared at them.
“This is not funny!” Jerry said, “We can’t do the scene with the two of them in it anymore.”
Keira looked like she was ready to cry. “Oh Jerry, I am such a dolt. I am so sorry, this was the stupidest thing I could have ever done.”
Jerry noticed Keira’s face and softened a bit. He had to admit, it was pretty funny. “Okay, let’s do this. I’ll call the local blacksmith and he can free you guys. Meanwhile, we can shoot the scene where Johnny and Geoffrey are fighting each other.”
Orlando finally spoke, “What do we do?”
Jerry pointed to the corner of the set, “Go sit over there. DON’T MOVE.”
Orlando strode over to the bench as Keira shuffled along behind him. They both settled down onto the bench as comfortably as they good, provided that they were attached.
“Keira.” Orlando said, looking at her face. “Don’t look so worried! This is hilarious, and trust me, even if Jerry seemed mad, he was trying to not laugh.”
“Okay, let’s think about this.” Keira said, sniffling, “Out of all the actresses that you have worked with - ”
“Which is a total of like 2, Lord of the Rings was mostly all guys.” Orlando interrupted.
“Okay.” Keira glared, “Out of all the actresses that you know, and I know you know a few - ”
“But I don’t know them personally. Just on a very superficial level.” Orlando smirked.
“FINE.” Keira huffed, “Let’s take Kate Bosworth. She wouldn’t do something this stupid.”
“Your right.” Orlando smiled, “She got into Princeton. She must have something up in her head.”
Two tears slid down Keira’s face. Orlando looked startled as the tears started pouring down, without her making any noise. He never knew what to say to a girl crying.
“Oh Keir.” Orlando softly said, trying to take her into his arms as best as possible. Keira sniffled, trying to pull back.
“No, I’m okay. Your right, I’m really not that smart.” She said, wiping some tears. But it didn’t matter because they were falling just the same.
Orlando felt terrible. He knew Keira had a slight form of dyslexia and he had struggled through it too. After all, he had to go through his educational years trying to keep up a brave front when he was just as scared. It didn't make anyone any less smart but the feeling of unintelligence was always lingering.
“I’m sorry.” Orlando said, rocking her back and forth a bit. “I didn’t mean to make that pun about Kate. It has nothing to do with being smart. Listen, it is my fault as well. Plus, how were we supposed to know that these things wouldn’t have keys! I just imagined that they would too!”
Keira sniffed, as she moved closer to Orlando. She felt so stupid. This was something her 4-year-old cousin would do, not something an adult would do. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it that way.”
Orlando smiled into her hair. “Think of it this way, all the jokes that everyone has been making about us being stuck at the hip, well we can tell that we are only stuck at the hands!”
Keira giggled, wiping the rest of her tears away. She smiled at Orlando, “Thanks OB.”
“No problem KK.” Orlando said, happy to see her smiling again.
“You know,” Keira said shyly, “I’m glad I got stuck to you.”
Orlando smiled, “And I’m glad I got stuck to you too.”
Little did they realize the significance of their words.
---
3 hours later, Orlando and Keira were regretting their words. The blacksmith still had yet to come and each of the cast members all came had come around once and poked fun at the fuming duo.
Keira sighed, as Orlando changed his sitting position for the fifth time in the last 2 minutes. She never realized how fidgety is was until now.
“Keira?”
“Yes?”
“I got to go to the bathroom.”
Keira stared at Orlando in shock.
WHAT. She knew this situation was bound to come up but she was hoping it wouldn’t.
Orlando noticed her look and shifted again, causing her frown to deepen. “I had a lot of coffee this morning for the early shoot!”
Keira immediately shook her head. “Hold it in. That is the only thing you can do.”
Orlando frowned, “No, I really have to go, otherwise I’m going to go here and its not going to be pretty.”
“What am I supposed to do!” Keira shrieked, throwing her hands in her air, causing Orlando’s arm to go up at an awkward angle.
“Close your eyes.” He said wincing pulling his arm back down.
Keira let out a deep breath. “Orlando, the blacksmith is supposed to be here very soon. When he gets here, you can go.”
“Very soon? Wasn’t that supposed to be 3 hours ago?” Orlando snapped, getting irritated. He really had to go and right now was not the best time to develop an overwhelming case of modesty.
Jerry came over to the arguing duo, noticing their stormy faces, he hesitated to tell them the news. Before he could turn around, Keira spotted him and called out.
”Jerry! Where is the dratted blacksmith?”
Jerry cleared his throat, opting to look at a spot in between their heads. If he looked at them in the face, he knew that he was going to start laughing. “Well…the blacksmith couldn’t be found until about an hour ago and he is on the set repairing one of the cannons. It’s a three hour process so he should be here in two hours.”
Both Keira and Orlando’s mouth dropped simultaneously. “That’s it.” Orlando said, yanking Keira up. “We are going now.”
“Going where?” Jerry asked, confused.
”Bathroom!” Orlando yelled out, as he dragged Keira away.
Jerry burst out laughing, dashing back to Gore to tell him what happened.
“Orlando, please, this is so embarrassing.” Keira begged, as she tried to get him to stop.
“Keira, please, I really have to go.” Orlando said, “Listen, this is what we will do, once we get to the bathroom, you can just close your eyes. It won’t take that long you know.”
Keira covered her face with her free hand. “I am so embarrassed.”
Orlando laughed, pushing the bathroom door open. “I’m the one that should be embarrassed!”
Even through her embarrassment, Keira looked around the bathroom curiously. It was very different from a girl’s bathroom. One side had wall full of urinal and another wall had stalls of toilets.
Orlando chose the farthest urinal and looked at Keira, who was still looking around the bathroom. Suddenly, the bathroom door burst open and in rushed Johnny, Jack, Jerry, Gore, Geoffrey, Mackenzie and a few others.
“I didn’t believe Jerry.” Johnny wheezed, as he held on to his side, “But now that I see it…”
The group of men burst out into loud laughter. Keira was looking everywhere but at them and Orlando was glaring at them.
“Yes, that’s great.” Orlando said impatiently, “Can you leave now? I have to really go.”
Geoffrey wiped away tears of laughter. “Fine, we are going. I forgot you have a shy willy.” And with that, the men started laughing again.
Damn Dom. Orlando thought, who had spilled the secret during an interview.
“Keira, make sure not to talk to Orlando while he is pissing. Otherwise you guys might be in here forever.” Jack smirked, as the men where leaving. Orlando flipped them off as Keira was too mortified to do anything.
Orlando sighed, “Okay love. You can look around or you can close your eyes. Take your pick.” He just really needed to relieve himself.
“I’ll close my eyes.” Keira said in a squeaky tone, scrunching her eyes shut. She could hear Orlando rustling around, opening his pants with one hand. Keira felt herself melting from embarrassment. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Keira.
“Do you … uh … need two hands to hold… to hold it?” Keira stammered, her face turning even redder than Rudolph the Reindeer’s nose. This was hands down her most embarrassing moment ever.
“No love. Unless you are offering?” Orlando said, smirking at her face. He was doing his best to hold his laughter in. She was standing rigidly with her face scrunched up, which was beet red.
“No!” Keira yelled as Orlando finally started laughing. This was the funniest thing that could have ever happened and it was amusing to see the usually cool as a cucumber Keira turn into a mushy tomato.
”Okay, done.” Orlando said, zipping up his pants. Keira still had her eyes closed. “You can open them now.” He said, chuckling.
Keira opened them slowly to see a fully dressed Orlando with a smirk on his face. “Okay, wash your hands and let’s go. I want to get out of here.”
“But you girls love bathrooms! You flock in groups and then stay there for ages.” Orlando mocked, washing his hands.
“Not all of us do that. Some of us can go in and do our business and come out.” Keira said.
“Wow, a mutant girl. I think I like you!” Orlando said poking her. Keira giggled, feeling relieved that she lived through her most embarrassing situation.
As soon as they walked out, they bumped into Mackenzie.
“I was sent to get you.” Mackenzie wheezed, “The blacksmith is here.”
Keira and Orlando looked at each other joyfully. They ran over to Jerry as quickly as they could, which was really not very quickly.
“We are here!” Keira said, panting.
“Oh that blacksmith just left.” Jerry said, as he watched their faces drop to outrage in a split second.
“WHAT!” Keira and Orlando yelled, attracting the attention of the already nosy crew.
“I’m joking!” Jerry laughed, as Keira and Orlando shot him a murderous look. “He actually gave me the master key to all the handcuffs since we have so many of them.”
As soon as Orlando and Keira were unlocked, they squealed and hugged each other. “Jeez.” Jerry said dryly, “I thought you might have had enough of each other.”
They let go of Jerry and simultaneously stuck their tongue out at him. “We are just happy that we don’t have to be forced together against our will anymore.”
“Not that you will ever be forced against your will.” Jerry said, under his breath. Fortunately, Keira and Orlando were to busy jabbering away with Johnny and John to hear his departing comment.
******
Hope you guys liked it
♥ Tina