Silverstar: Gemini (Ch. 1, Homecoming)

[Miss Knightley]

Disclaimer: This is a love story, but not a typical one. Please keep in mind that the actions of the characters are not always actions that the author would, herself, take as well.
Genre: Fantasy
Rating: PG- 15 for mild sexual situations
Teaser: What would you do if you found out your entire life was a lie? Who would you blame, who would you trust?

Made by Tuima

Prologue

Stepping into the empty cavern, her sure steps echoed around her. Her reddish eyes scanned the dark space, her full lips curling into a frown. She walked to the slim pillar in the center of the cavern, placing her cool gaze on the silver platter that sat idle and empty atop it. With a slight nod of her head, a warm fire of red and gold roared to life on the platter. She blinked, expressionless, and looked around again.

In the shadows at the back of the cave lay a small but deep pool of water. She walked to it, her long red and orange gown flowing with her slow movements. Though the dancing flames at her back cast strange shadows around her, she looked down to see her reflection in the water. Her short cut red hair looked fit for a small boy, save the two long chunks of hair that framed her stern face.

"Miska." The one word hung in the dense air, and she stared at the pool at her feet, something in her eyes expectant. When nothing happened, she repeated the name and crouched to be closer to the water. The red eyes in her reflection blinked when she did not, and turned to blue. She stood and walked away from the water. "Stop fooling around." The reflection that was left behind faded with ripples as another woman rose from the water.

Seeming to float above the pool in her flowing blue gown before stepping to the solid cavern floor, she tried to hide a smile. She brushed her long pale blue hair behind her pointed ears and tilted her head, looking at the fire. "What's going on?"

The other woman looked up. "Ambar. Wista."

"Tanya, what is going on?" the other asked again. She stepped closer to the flames, her face showing she was younger than the woman she had just addressed.

"Where are they?" Tanya crossed her arms. She looked at the younger woman. "Why do you look at me like that, Miska?"

An icy blue eyebrow lifted. "Because you woke me and refuse to tell me why." She scowled. "So I will ask again, sister, what's going on?"

Tanya took a breath before answering. "It is time."

Miska blinked, then clasped her hands together, excited. "Really?"

"Yes," Tanya sighed. She looked up again. "Ambar! Wista! Now!" The ground shook and behind Miska, the ground opened and another woman rose up from the depths. Her straight brown hair hung a little past her shoulders and was tucked behind her pointed ears. Her green eyes were sad as she looked at the other two. Walking toward the fire, her gown of different shades of green gave her a soft, sad look.

"You called, sister?"

Tanya scowled. "Yes I did. Where is Wista?" There was a sudden gust of wind and all three of them had to shield their eyes as small pebbles and dust flew around.

"Easy Wis!" Miska called. The wind died and they all looked up to see another small woman in the room. Her snow white hair hung past her waist and her hazel eyes danced and she smiled and joined the small circle around the flames, standing between Tanya and Ambar, Miska barely seen over the flames. "Nice entrance."

She smiled. "Thanks." She looked around, her hands clutching the top layer of her silken white grown. "What is this all about?"

All three looked at Tanya. "It is about to begin. Look..." She waved a hand and the flames grew, but hollowed in the middle to show a picture of a carriage. It rattled and bumped over the old dirt road the horses pulled it over. Wista looked at Tanya.

"Is this who I think it is?" The eldest sister nodded, her gaze still on the scene being played out in the flames. Grinning, Wista looked back into the flames to watch.
#nosmileys#nosmileys

[Loreley]

yay!! I get to read it again!

[Rainbow]

Oooo interesting.
They represent the elements? water, air, fire, earth
Pointy ears *giggles* like elves ;D

Is this the one i'm supposed to edit, cuz sweetie you don't need it. i can't see a single typo!

Its a really nice opening. Introcucing characters, the genre, and hinting at a plot tha is some kind of mission... quest... thing (sorry coundn't resist )

Nice cover by the way!!
He kind of reminds me of legolas hehe

[Miss Knightley]

Rainbow said:

Oooo interesting.
They represent the elements? water, air, fire, earth
Pointy ears *giggles* like elves ;D

Is this the one i'm supposed to edit, cuz sweetie you don't need it. i can't see a single typo!

Its a really nice opening. Introcucing characters, the genre, and hinting at a plot tha is some kind of mission... quest... thing (sorry coundn't resist ;))

Nice cover by the way!!
He kind of reminds me of legolas hehe

Okay, first of all, you are the only person who noticed the elemental thing straight away. You get a cookie!

Yep, this is the one. I just want to make sure that my flow is right, I don't make my charcters do something it seems they normally wouldn't....stuff like that. Oh, and you'll notice, if you haven't already, I'm a little comma happy. *grins*

Aww Pipin....hmm, i was wondering what movie to watch. LotR sounds good now!

[Miss Knightley]

The gentle rocking of the carriage as it moved across the forest floor was slowly putting Elentaari to sleep. She rested her head against the velvety seat. She had been stuck in this carriage for three days time and she was tired of it. She sighed, pushing her long silver blonde hair behind her pointed ears. The elderly woman who sat across from her also looked tired. She rubbed tired hands over her wrinkled face. “We will be there soon,” she said for, what seemed like, the hundredth time. Elentaari nodded.

Her sharp green eyes opened suddenly as the carriage stopped. She watched as two guardsmen rushed to cover the windows with heavy black velvet. Soon they were moving again. “Why did they do that, Chessley?”

The old woman hesitated before answering. “We’re getting closer to the village of Suksas, the village of thieves. If they saw us passing by, a carriage with a royal princess in it…”

“I know,” Elentaari said quietly. “We must be careful.” She sighed. “It’s just so dark. I don’t feel right if there is no light. I wish I could just light a candle or make a flame appear somehow…”

“Bite your tongue, Child!”

“Chess, I’m sorry. I…”

“I know,” Chessley said in a softer, gentler tone. “I just think we should be silent until we pass the village.”

“Of course.” She bit her lip and sat back in her seat, waiting for a chance to see the sun again. She concentrated on her breathing. The longer the covers were up, the closer the carriage walls seemed. She closed her eyes again and pictured big open fields with the noon sun warming her face. She smiled, a memory taking her back to when she was younger.

It was night, well past her bedtime. She sat before a warm fire in her parents bedroom, at the foot of their luxurious bed. Her mother, tall with dark spiraling hair and deep brown eyes, sat behind Elentaari, plaiting her daughters long, straight tresses. As she did so, her father, tall strong and handsome, jumped and flung his hands around telling her a bedtime story. At some point, his story surprised her by his yelling and she jumped. The fire did too. She saw it happen, as did her parents. They sent her to bed then, her hair halfway done and her bedtime story unfinished.

Things changed from that day on. Her father didn’t tell her anymore stories, but scolded her when she told her own. “Leave the storytelling to the bards who drink in the taverns. Finish your schoolwork now.”

And her mother never had time to braid her hair anymore. “Your hair is fine the way it is, Taari,” she had said. “Though I wish there was a wave to it at least.”

Elentaari was so lost in her thoughts and her memories that she didn’t notice that the carriage had been stopped, the covers drawn, and they were on their way again. She remembered the day she met Chessley. She was so young, just a child, but she had an immediate liking for the old woman. She had the brightest smile and the warmest hugs. She loved her like a grandmother.

“What are you thinking, Child?”

Elentaari opened her eyes. “Actually,” she said smiling. “I was thinking about you.”

“Now what would you go and do a foolish thing like that for?”

Elentaari laughed, light and musical. “Because I’m trying to think of happy, wonderful days to rid my mind of the horror of the past twelve.”

Chessley laughed low and grumbly. “Horror…”

“And I was thinking of Mother and Father. I hope they are well.”

Chessley reached out and took Elentaari’s smooth silken hand in her old wrinkled ones. “I am sure they are anxious to see you as well. They will be waiting at the gates with open arms for sure.”

She sat back and smiled, the image of her parents waiting for her warming her heart. She grew excited when she stuck her head out the window and saw the tall gray spires of home coming into view. “We will really be there soon now, Chess.” Chessley laughed at her mocking tone.

“Hush.”

As they passed over the cobbled streets of the village of Askill, the echoing of her horses hoof beats announced Elentaari’s presence. Residents came outside to get a glance of the fair, young princess. She waved and smiled in return of their staring.

“Princess Elentaari! Princess Elentaari!” She looked behind the carriage to see two small girls running after her, bouquets of wildflowers in their hands.

“Stop the carriage,” she called to the driver.

“Taari, I don’t think that…”

“Chess,” she said, cutting her off. “This is my father’s village. No harm will come to me here. Besides, they‘re children.” Chessley sat back and said no more.

“Princess Elentaari,” the girls panted as they came up before the window.

“Good morning,” Elentaari said warmly.

“We love you, Your Highness,” said the smaller of the two girls as she lifted her flowers to her. She had long dark hair and big dark eyes. She smiled shyly, shuffling her feet.

“Yes,” said the other girl, lifting her flowers as well. “When we heard you would be returning home today, my sister and I picked these for you.”

Elentaari took them and breathed in their fresh scent. “They are beautiful,” she said earnestly. She looked at the girls. “What are your names?”

“My name is Tavva,” said the oldest of the two.

“And my name is Saline,” said the shy younger one.

“Well thank you for the flowers. I love them.” She took two small purple flowers and put one behind both of the girls right ears. “I love them so much, in fact, I am going to dub you both princesses for the day.” Their eyes grew wide.

“Really?” Elentaari nodded.

“Yes. For today, you are Princess Tavva, and you are Princess Saline.” The girls laughed and hugged each other.

“Thank you, Princess,” they yelled as they ran away. She waved after them and the carriage began to move again.

“How do you do it?” Chessley asked.

“Do what?”

“Everyone adores you.”

Elentaari laughed. “I’m sure not everyone adores me. No one is loved by everyone.”

“Not even you?”

“Not even me.”

[Rainbow]

Okay haven't looked at the first chapter yet but i went through the prologue a couple of times and really its fine but i picked out a couple of things.

you sometimes repeat words in the same sentence:
Stepping into the empty cavern, her sure steps echoed around her.

It might flow better if you changed one of the 'steps' maybe for something like She paced into the empty cavern, her sure steps echoing around her.


Also with: The ground shook and behind Miska, the ground opened and another woman rose up from the depths. maybe if it was The earth shook... the ground opened

And towards the end: It rattled and bumped over the old dirt road the horses pulled it over. perhaps you could replcae the second over with 'along', or something like that.




So I will ask again, sister, what's going on? This would probably be better with a full stop. So I will ask again, sister. What's going on?



For run on sentences you can usually replace commas with an 'as or 'and'.

For example: The one word hung in the dense air as she stared at the pool at her feet, something in her eyes expectant.

Miska blinked, then clasped her hands together, excited. here it might flow better if you got rid of the second comma and put some thing like ...clasped her hands together in excitement which is a little more visual for the reader.

Also for this sentence: She walked to it, her long red and orange gown flowing with her slow movements. you could emphasize the imagery by rearanging the order: She walked to it, her long gown of red and orange [perhaps insert a material here: silk, satin?] flowing with her slow movements. It just makes it that little bit more magestic.

Theres a repetition of 'and' in this sentence which might flow better if you used an 'as'Her snow white hair hung past her waist and her hazel eyes danced as she smiled and joined the small circle around the flames

Also as this is quite a long sentence it might be easier if there was a fool stop there and you began the next sentence with something like: She stood between Tanya and Ambar, Miska barely visable over the flames.



I hope this was at all helpful
But please tell me if i'm just being rediculously picky and annoying.

If this is the right kind of idea, i'll look at the first chapter later.

[Miss Knightley]

Not at all! That is exactly what I needed. I am terrible with repeating words and commas and such. You are wonderful. I'm going to save all your comments onto my computer so I can really sit down and go through them. Thank you so much!

[Rainbow]

Not a problem, glad to be of some help.
Okay i will take a look at chapter one now then ;D

[Rainbow]

Okay Chapter one. Firstly i just wanted to say, Nice! A princess with mystical powers that she's not 'supposed' to have? Frowned upon by her parents and sent away.

Elentaari, nice name! your LJ user ;D

Okay some points:

Ah yeah the first thing, and i have a real problem with this too, is starting consecutive sentences with the same word. In this case 'She'. It's just instintive but for the reader sometimes becomes repetative and its easy to change.

For example the sentence: She sighed, pushing her long silver blonde hair behind her pointed ears. could be turned around to read Pushing her long silver blonde hair behind her pointed ears, she sighed/she let out a sigh or perhaps Sighing, she pushed her long silver hair...

Another way to avoid repetition is to ajoin sentences. For example:The elderly woman who sat across from her also looked tired. She rubbed tired hands over her wrinkled face.Could become The elderly woman who sat across from her also looked tired as she rubbed tired hands over her wrinkled face.Again to avoid repetition the second 'Tired' could be edited to shakey, frail, exhausted.. or whatever.

In this sentence: "We will be there soon,” she said for, what seemed like, the hundredth time. You can move the comma to after 'said' and get rid of the rest ("We will be there soon,” she said, for what seemed like the hundredth time.)

I don't know if its just me but 'putting to sleep' always makes me think of the humaine way of killing animals. That might be the effect you were going for in the opening sentence, but perhaps 'sending Elentaari to sleep' or 'lulling Elentaari into a sleep' might be more apropriate.


I don’t feel right if there is no lightThis is okay but seems a little 'common' considering she is of royalty. Perhaps rephrasing to something along the lines of It doesn’t feel right when there is no light If rhyme was a specific effect you were going for, or I don’t feel comfortable when there is no light if not.


There is a really gorgeous line, which i love the idea of but kind of feel that it get skimmed over: The longer the covers were up, the closer the carriage walls seemed. I think it would be really nice for the reader to pehaps have this developed into a metaphor. The idea of confinement, of the walls pressing in. Perhaps linking it with her position in society and constantly being confined, pressure from numerous direction; her parents, her gut instincts, politicians, duty, honnor? I don't know just an idea.

She smiled, a memory taking her back to when she was younger This again is prefectly fine but might perhaps be sharper ...a memory taking her back to her youth

Aim for biggest impact with the least effort. Short, sharp, to the point but remaining descript and detailed. (Quite the balencing act, i sure haven't got it sussed yet!)

They sent her to bed then, her hair halfway done...This seems a very coloquial turn of phrase, and perhaps only half braided/platted might be better fitting for this style of writing.

Elentaari was so lost in her thoughts and her memories that she didn’t notice that the carriage had been stopped, the covers drawn, and they were on their way again.You switch tenses in this sentence from past (had been stoped - completed action) to the progressive (they were on their way again) An idea out of this could be something along the lines of: ...the carriage had been stopped, the covers drawn and the journey resumed

You could even consider splitting this sentenceElentaari was so lost in her thoughts and her memories that she didn’t notice that the carriage had been stopped. The covers were drawn back and they were again on their way.

or Elentaari was so lost in her thoughts and her memories that she didn’t notice the carriage stop. The covers were drawn back and again they were on their way.

She had the brightest smile and the warmest hugs some thing about this wants me to either add an 's' to smile or remove the 's' from hugs but it reads fine as it is.

“My name is Tavva,” said the oldest of the two.Again this is fine but stylistically 'elder' or 'older' might be more fitting for the mystic/magical kind of genre. Its more disciplined and tighter and seems slightly more poetic. ;D


Hope some of this was helpfull.

[Miss Knightley]

Have I told you how wonderful you are for doing this for me? Sorry it took me so long to say anything. It took me awhile to go through it. Never any rush on these, so take your time. I just love you!


By the time the castle gates came into view, Elentaari’s excitement at seeing her parents had grown so much, she was ready to jump out. But her hopes were soon dashed. They came to a halt and she saw no one at the gate to greet her but a sentry. He opened the door and helped her out. “Welcome home, Princess.”

“Thank you,” she said absently. She wondered what could have possibly kept her beloved mother and father from welcoming her home. She looked at the sentry. “Have my parents gone on a journey?” He seemed confused, but then his expression softened with sympathy.

“No, your Highness. They are here.”

“Are they ill?”

He hesitated slightly. “No.”

Elentaari looked at Chessley as she climbed out of the carriage. “Perhaps they are in discussion concerning our journey,” she said. Elentaari nodded. Chessley squeezed her hand. “I’m sure there is a very good reason for it. Come, let us go inside and find out for ourselves.”

Elentaari gathered her skirts and climbed the stairs. The doors were opened for her as she approached and she walked inside. The marble halls of Whitepearl Castle shone as they always did. In front of Elentaari was a cherry wood table with a large vase brimming with flowers. Looking around, the set of stairs climbing both walls stood unoccupied. The landing on the second floor was empty, save a few maids passing by now and then. She sighed.. “Home sweet home,” she said quietly. She glanced over her shoulder at Chessley. “I’m going to my room now. Please send my bags up.”

“Of course,” she said promptly. She watched Elentaari climb the stairs that led to the east side of the castle. She shook her head and headed back outside. Elentaari walked slowly down the carpeted hall, listening for any sound of a great meeting. But there was only silence. She passed the open door the her father’s study, glancing in only to see books and a lonely desk. She passed a maid who smiled briefly at her and went on her way. As she approached the end of the hallway and grew closer to her room, she shook her head. She was disappointed in them. Her parents were always loving and doting to her. At least most of the time. Actually, it seemed the older she got, the less they felt like her parents and the more they felt like any other adult she had to answer to.

She placed her hand on her silver doorknob and stopped. Looking around, she bit her lip and kept walking down the hall that curved and joined in with the western hall. Her steps were soft as she stopped in front of her parents bedroom. She bent and put her ear to the door and listened. Nothing.

“Elentaari, what are you doing?” Her eyes grew wide as she turned around. The woman before her wore a long gold and emerald green gown. The dark spirals that fell just below her shoulders were topped with a silver and pearl circlet.

“Mother!” Elentaari wrapped her arms around her in an embrace. Her mother smiled and hugged her tightly. As Elentaari saw her father come into view she felt her mother pull away. She ran to her father and stood before him, smiling. His black hair had a bit of gray coming through under his heavy crown. “I do believe you have only grown more handsome, Father.” She hugged him and he patted her back lightly. It didn’t feel like a warm welcome from him.

“What were you doing at our door just now?” her father asked.

“I was looking for the both of you. I was hoping you would be here to welcome me home.”

“We were in a meeting,” her mother said. “I’m sorry, darling.”

“There is nothing to be sorry about, Alina.” Elentaari looked up at her father, a bit taken back. “Elentaari is no longer a child who needs her hand to be held every minute of the day.” He looked down at his daughter. “I had hoped by the age of twenty three you would no longer need your mother and I to run home to.”

“Kenneth, I don’t think…”

“No, Mother,” Elentaari said. “He’s…” She bit her lip, remembering to watch the way she spoke and not to use contractions. “He is right.” She pushed her fair hair behind her ears. “I think I shall retire now, until dinner.” She bowed her head and walked away towards her room.

“And cover those ears, Elentaari,” she heard her father call. Fighting tears, she pulled her hair over her ears and walked quickly away from them.

“Kenneth…she hasn’t been home in almost a fortnight. She is still a child.”

He shook his head. “She is old enough to be an adult. And I think we have sheltered her for too long. It’s finally time for her.” Alina looked at her husband sadly.

“How can you regard her so coldly? She is still your daughter.” He said nothing and walked down the hall.

[Rainbow]

hey no problem as long its helpful ;D
studying for a second media paper at the mo, so i'll probs look at it tomoz.

[Reens]

I avoid non-OK fics like plague yet I find it oddly riveting.

Will review more later...

[Rainbow]

By the time the castle gates came into view, Elentaari’s excitement at seeing her parents had grown so much(,) she was ready to jump out (of the carriage). (But) Her hopes were soon dashed. They came to a halt and she saw no one at the gate to greet her but a sentry. He opened the door and helped her out. “Welcome home, Princess.”

“Thank you,” she said absently,(. She) wonder(ing) what could have possibly kept her beloved mother and father from welcoming her home. She looked at the sentry. “Have my parents gone on a journey?” He seemed confused(,) but (then) his expression softened with sympathy.

“No, your Highness. They are here.”

“Are they ill?”

He hesitated slightly. “No.”

Elentaari looked at Chessley as she climbed out of the carriage. “Perhaps they are in discussion concerning our journey,” she said. Elentaari nodded (and) Chessley squeezed her hand. “I’m sure there is a very good reason for it. Come, let us go inside and find out for ourselves.”

Elentaari gathered her skirt(s) and climbed the stairs. The doors were opened for her as she approached and she walked inside. The marble halls of Whitepearl Castle shone as they always did. In front of Elentaari was a cherry wood table with a large vase brimming with (adjective: colour/type/something visual) flowers. Looking around (she saw) the set of stairs climbing both walls stood unoccupied. The landing on the second floor was empty, save a few maids passing by now and then. She sighed..(.) “Home sweet home,” she said quietly. She glanced over her shoulder at Chessley. “I’m going to my room now. Please send my bags up.”<br>
“Of course,” she said promptly. She watched Elentaari climb the stairs that led to the east side of the castle (before shaking) her head and head(ing) back outside. Elentaari walked slowly down the carpeted hall, listening for any sound of a great meeting(.) but there was only silence. She passed the open door (the) (to) her father’s study, glancing in only to see books and a lonely desk. She passed a maid who smiled briefly at her and went on her way. As she approached the end of the hallway and grew closer to her room, she shook her head. She was disappointed in them. Her parents were always loving and doting to her(,) at least most of the time. Actually, it seemed the older she got, the less they felt like her parents and the more they felt like any other adult she had to answer to.

She placed her hand on her silver doorknob and stopped. Looking around, she bit her lip and kept walking down the hall that curved and joined (in) with the western hall. Her steps were soft as she stopped in front of her parent(')s bedroom. She bent and put her ear to the door and listened. Nothing.

“Elentaari, what are you doing?” Her eyes grew wide as she turned around. The woman before her wore a long gold and emerald green (coloured) gown. The dark spirals that fell just below her shoulders were topped with a silver and pearl circlet. (colour/material?)

“Mother!” Elentaari wrapped her arms around her in an embrace. Her mother smiled and hugged her tightly. As Elentaari saw her father come into view she felt her mother pull away. She ran to her father and stood before him, smiling. His black hair had a bit of gray coming through under his heavy crown. “I do believe you have only grown more handsome, Father.” She hugged him and he patted her back lightly. It didn’t feel like a warm welcome from him.

“What were you doing at our door just now?” her father asked.

“I was looking for the both of you. I was hoping you would be here to welcome me home.”

“We were in a meeting,” her mother said. “I’m sorry, darling.”

“There is nothing to be sorry about, Alina.” Elentaari looked up at her father, a bit taken back. “Elentaari is no longer a child who needs her hand to be held every minute of the day.” He looked down at his daughter. “I had hoped by the age of twenty three you would no longer need your mother and I to run home to.”

“Kenneth, I don’t think…”

“No, Mother,” Elentaari said. “He’s…” She bit her lip, remembering to watch the way she spoke and not to use contractions. “He is right.” She pushed her fair hair behind her ears. “I think I shall retire now, until dinner.” She bowed her head and walked away towards her room.

“And cover those ears, Elentaari,” she heard her father call. Fighting tears, she pulled her hair over her ears and walked quickly away from them.

“Kenneth…she hasn’t been home in almost a fortnight. She is still a child.”

He shook his head. “She is old enough to be an adult. And I think we have sheltered her for too long. It (is) finally time for her.” Alina looked at her husband sadly.

“How can you regard her so coldly? She is still your daughter.” He said nothing and walked down the hall.

[Rainbow]

Hey sorry that took me so long. Her father is stern, awww. But Princesses need a stong disiplinary figure i guess.

Nice update, look forward to more ;D

[Miss Knightley]

lol, Serena, I don't want to force you to read this. *wink*

Alrighty, made changes to the last section. Here is some more.


Elentaari sniffled as she closed the door behind her. Her bedroom was just as she left it. Her ice blue bed was neatly made with the matching canopy over it. Her blue curtains were still pulled back to see the setting sun. Her bags sat in front of her dresser. She walked over and picked up a bag, catching her own green eyes in the mirror. She pushed her hair back again and studied herself.

“They don’t love me because I’m different,” she told her reflection. “I am like no other I have seen in this kingdom or any other. Everyone else has beautiful thick dark hair and dark eyes. And ears!” She touched the pointed tips of her ears. “No wonder everyone treats me differently. I am different. I’m a monster.” She dropped her bag and collapsed onto her bed. She buried her face in her pillows and cried.

There was a light knock at her door. She waited a moment to make sure she wasn’t hearing things and dried her eyes. Someone knocked again. For a moment, she thought it may be her mother or father, come to say they were sorry.

“Taari?” It was Chessley. Elentaari got up and opened the door. “Oh dear.” She came in quickly and shut the door behind her. Elentaari sat back down on her bed. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” She wiped her eyes as fresh tears fell. “Why don’t they love me anymore?”

“Oh, oh oh…” Chessley sat down beside her and wrapped her arms around her. “They love you child. You are their daughter. How could they not?”

“Father treated me like a stranger when I hugged him, and he acts as though I am not really his daughter sometimes.”

“How so?” Elentaari got up and held her hair back. “I am chided whenever I show these ugly pointed things. He is ashamed of me!”

“No!” Chessley said. She got up and grasped Elentaari by the shoulders. “He is not ashamed of you.”
“And why do I look different from everyone else I have ever met? Please tell me that.” Chessley walked away from her. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“Don’t play games with me Chess, please.” She walked over, touching the old woman’s hand. “Please…I feel like you’re the only one I can trust right now. Don’t betray that trust and play games with me.” Chessley looked at her. “Why is it I am fair when everyone else is not?”

“I don’t know” Chessley said, looking at the floor. “But I must go attend to some things. I just came to see if you needed anything else right now.” Elentaari shook her head and looked away.

“No, you can go. Thank you.” Chessley walked to the door and opened it. She glanced back before closing it behind her. Elentaari sat on her bed. Those last few words were the coldest exchange the two women had ever shared. As she felt her eyes fill again, she took a deep breath and pushed them down. She picked up her bag once more and began to unpack.

[Miss Knightley]

Got your email, hari, thankies for that. Um, what's a beta? And 'paganistic' made me spill my coffee...you'll have to essplaine that one to me as well.


The dinning hall was brightly lit with lanterns and candles lined the walls, shining through the flowing satin curtains that were blowing in the warm night breeze. The scent of a freshly cooked roast filled the air as it was placed in the center of the table. Bowls of vegetables, fruits, and breads filled the unoccupied spaces on the table. Elentaari entered the dining room and found her place in the middle between her father on one end, and her mother at the other.

“Good evening Mother…Father.” A maid pulled her chair out and pushed it in when she sat. “Thank you.” The maid nodded and smiled at her princess.

“You’re welcome Your Grace.”

“Now, Elentaari, please tell us of your trip.”

“There really isn’t that much to tell, Father.” She watched as the same maid filled Elentaari’s plate.

Kenneth smiled. “Come now, you were gone for twelve days. Something surely happened. And say is not, not isn‘t.” Alina stifled a grimace. “Tell us of Prince Aidan.”

Elentaari sighed. “He was very nice.”

“That’s all?” her mother asked. “Elentaari, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she lied. “I am just tired after such a long journey. I am not even that hungry. I think I may retire for the night, with your permission.”

“You must eat something. Such trouble has been spent on making this meal for your return.”

Elentaari stood. “But not your trouble father. I am sorry, please excuse me.” She rushed out of the room, the breeze from her dress extinguishing some of the candles by the doorway. Kenneth looked at his wife, appalled.

“What was that about? Not my trouble…”

Alina folded her hands on the table. “You were not very kind to her this afternoon, Kenneth.” He threw his napkin down on the table in front of him.

“It is no longer my job to be kind to her. It is my job to mold her into the great ruler she will one day be. She is the key to our future and it’s time we treated her like that.” Alina stood.

“So you would rather treat her like a squire than your own daughter.?” She shook her head and began to walk out. He grabbed her arm.

“And if you know what’s good for you, you will too. She is not your daughter, Alina. Never forget that.”

She lifted her chin, pulling away from him. “I will retire now too…M’lord.”

[Rainbow]

beta is greek for B and kind of means second, i guess. like second reading...

What was my contect of paganistic, i forget i think it was in reference to the whole kind of mysticism, and magik aspect, particularly in the opening. Paganism as in rural, non-christian kind of...

ah i'll shut up now, don't really know much bout it.

[Miss Knightley]

lol, I get you now, lol.

[Reens]

You kind of got it right. "Pagans" were actually people who worshipped trees in older times. They were the people who believed in sacred females.

Give "The Da Vinci Code" a read. It is the most fantastic, well researched book I've ever read. (which is not really saying much coz I hardly ever read...) ;D but trust me. It is awesome. Even if you aren't a conspiracy theorist (like me).

[Miss Knightley]

In case anyone wanted more...


Chessley closed her bedroom door quietly behind her. She lit the lantern in her small wooden room and went to the trunk at the foot of her bed. She lifted the top, sifting through odds and ends, pulling things out until it seemed to be empty. Then she pulled the bottom up, revealing a second compartment. “Here,” she said to herself. “Here are all the answers.” She pulled out piles of papers, glancing through them. “I can give you this small gift child. But only when you are ready. Only when you are ready.”



Elentaari was dressed for bed and was sitting on the floor before her marble fireplace. She held her brush in her hand, slowly combing her silky tresses. She looked at the fireplace, cold and flameless. She placed her hands in her lap as she heard her door open softly behind her. “Taari, may I come in?”

She nodded. “Of course, Mother.” Alina closed the door and sat down beside Elentaari. She took the brush from her and continued combing. Elentaari moved so her back was to her mother.

“What’s wrong, love?” She was not the queen for the moment, only a mother with concern for her daughter.

“Nothing really. I’m tired and I have a lot on my mind.” Elentaari tensed a little, waiting for her speech to be corrected, but when it wasn’t, she calmed. She felt her mother gather her hair at the back of her neck and start braiding it. “You haven’t done that in a long time.”

“Too long a time. Your hair has grown so much.”

“It’s below my waist now.”

“It’s beautiful.” They sat in silence for a moment as Alina braided. When she was finished, Elentaari turned to face her. “Now tell me,” Alina continued. “What could a twenty-three year old princess possibly have on her mind that would be causing her so much distress?”

“Too much.” Elentaari played with an invisible piece of lint on her nightgown.

“Well I know there has to be more about Prince Aidan than being nice. I want to hear more about him and your journey.”

Elentaari narrowed her eyes. “Really?”

“Really.”

Elentaari smiled slowly. “Okay.” She turned her body so she was laying on her stomach, and rested her chin in her hands. “Where do you want me to start?”

“From the day you left us.”

“Okay, well, it took us three days to get there…”


Chessley finished pouring tea into the small silver teapot and placed it on a matching platter, already littered with small cakes, cookies and sweet breads. She smiled to herself as she brought it up to Elentaari’s room. The queen was ready for her, and opened the door as soon as she heard footsteps coming.

“Hurry, Chess!”

“Yes, Your Highness.” Alina looked about the empty halls and ushered Chessley in, closing the door behind them. “Here you are then.” She placed the tray on the floor beside Elentaari.

“Thanks, Chess.” Elentaari grinned up at her. Chessley looked at the queen as she sat back down on the floor.

“With all due respect, Your Graces,” Chessley said, hiding a smile. “I must say this isn’t the best kind of dinner for a queen and a young princess to have, especially when they skipped a perfectly fine roast dinner.”

“Oh, sit with us, Chess,” Alina said, smiling up at the old woman. “It’s been too long since we’ve indulged ourselves in a little old fashioned girl talk.”

Chessley nodded. “We’ve never done that with the child before.”

Elentaari looked from Chessley, to her mother, and back again. “You make it sound as though you two have known each other all your lives.” The two women shared a smile.

“We have,“ Alina told her. “Sort of.” Chessley sat on the floor, groaning. “Chessley was my mother’s hand maiden.”

Elentaari blinked. She looked at Chessley, astounded. “You served my grandmother?”

Chessley nodded, nibbling a cookie. “And your mother, and now you.” She poured herself a cup of tea. “I told you I was old, child. You didn’t believe me.”

“I do now,” Elentaari said through fits of giggles. Chessley shook her head. “So you know all of Mother’s secrets, and met all of her suitors. Tell, tell!”

“I think that we’re getting off track,” Alina said.

“What were we talking about?” Chessley asked.

Elentaari rolled her eyes. “Beautiful Prince Aidan.” Chessley laughed a bit, then started coughing. “You okay Chess?” The old woman nodded, coughing and laughing at the same time.

“Darn cookie,” she said when she could finally breathe. They all laughed. “Now, what about beautiful Prince Aidan?”

“Well,” Elentaari said. “He’s quite tall, with black hair and brown eyes. He had a great big smile and an attitude that said, “I think I’m wonderful, so you should as well.”

“Oh no,” Alina groaned.

“And when he was showing me around his vast and luxurious kingdom, he informed me that after we wed and we had our three children, two boys and a girl, he would probably have a mistress or two, because all of the great kings usually do.” She watched her mother’s jaw drop. “Charming, isn’t he?”

“Oh, Taari. I would never expect you to marry a man like that.”

“Father will be a different story.” They all fell silent at the mention of the king. Elentaari shivered, thinking she should light the logs in her fireplace. Suddenly, blue and gold flames roared to life behind her. She sprang to her feet and jumped on her bed. All three of them stared at the fireplace in disbelief.

“What happened?” Elentaari asked.

“The…the fire…you must have…”

“Spontaneous combustion!” Chessley broke in, ignoring the strange color of the flames. Alina and Elentaari looked at her. “So much tension in the room, the child must have kicked one of the logs and rubbed them together.” The two said nothing. “It’s been known to happen.”

Alina blinked as if coming out of a trance or deep memory. “Yes…I think…it’s getting late We all need some rest. Goodnight.” She got up off the floor and left.

Elentaari looked at Chessley, her green eyes wide. “What just happened Chess?”

“I told you,” she said standing up. “It was spontaneous…”

“No.” Elentaari grabbed Chessley’s arm. “I shivered, I thought about making a fire because I was cold. As soon as I thought that, the fire appeared. I didn’t move or touch anything.” Chessley looked at the floor. “You know…don’t you.”

Bending, Chessley gathered the tray full of food and the teapot with haste. “Goodnight, Elentaari. Sleep well.” And with that, she was gone.

Elentaari crawled beneath her covers. “What kind of monster am I?” She stared at the strange flames, almost afraid to put them out for some reason. A single hot tear slid down her cheek, and she closed her eyes to go to sleep. When sleep finally did find her, two shadow figured danced before her eyes, the strange flames burning and the wood crackling the only music she could hear.


Miska blinked and looked at her eldest sister. “That’s the first time she’s ever summoned fyre, isn’t it?”<br>
“How can you tell?” Wista asked.

“Her reaction says it all,” Ambar observed.

Miska’s blue eyes were still trained on Tanya. “What does this mean?”<br>
“Nothing,” Tanya answered calmly. “For now, we simply watch and see what happens.”<br>