Thankies for all the comments ;D Glad you enjoy
Chapter5 ~*~*~*~*~
I sobbed hysterically as I stumbled up to my house. In a blanket of tears, I fumbled for my keys in my tracksuit pockets. I thrust them into the lock, using such force that the door rattled angrily and swung open in a flash.
The house was quiet as I lumbered in, and I let out a strangled cry, but received no response whatsoever. It appeared nobody was home.
My face was blotchy, and horrifically tearstained. As I dragged my frail body into the living room, my foot caught on a loose patch of carpet, sending me flying.
As I came down, my head whacked onto the corner of the dinner table with a crack. Slowly I slid to the floor, sharp rushes of pain wavering through me as if somebody had stabbed a stake movement into the very soul of my heart.
That’s how I remained, sprawled on the floor, howling like a young baby in need of its mother. My fists pounded down hard on the pink carpet, letting out the fury that had to pour out of me before I hurt someone physically again.
In the end I quieted down, and the sobs started to decrease in frequency. I rolled onto my back so that the silent tears could roll down the side of my face and onto the skin on my neck.
In the cloudy mist of tears, my eyes managed to make out the blurry image of the alcohol cabinet. Right in the back of my mind, I knew I should not do what I was about to do, but I forced the warnings away. Hurriedly, I scrambled to my feet, eager to the fact that it may numb the pain.
My hand shook hesitantly as it hovered over the handle of the wooden cabinet. Fear was nestled inside me, but one thought of Liam and Helena made me haul open the door without further hesitance.
I grasped the nearest bottle of vodka, opened it with clear ease, and brought the foul smelling liquid up to my lips. I took a large gulp, which scorched the back of my throat unbearably, but all I did was take another…and another…and another.
I drew the glass bottle away from my mouth, gasping greedily for air. My head started to throb, sending me messages to stop instantly, and the bump on my head increased in size.
Yet I forced down some more, even though I wanted to do nothing but spit it back out. I was only causing damage to myself, but the events that had happened made all the things I should have taken into perspective appear dazed.
I choked. I spluttered. I took in sharp inhalations of oxygen that might as well have been alcohol for all I cared.
Tears stung in my eyes and started to spill like hot, bubbling blood down my cheeks, and the room started to spin wildly. I clutched my head in sheer agony as a loud screeching bell screamed inside of my head telling me to stop.
I didn’t. It had already gone too far.
The bottle was now less than a quarter full.
‘Just a few more’ I told myself,
‘just a few more mouthfuls, and it’s over.’I flung my head back, taking an enormous swig and letting the liquid slip like boiling lava down my throat.
That was for Liam, the man I once loved and gave my heart too, the man I was once willing to sacrifice anything for.
I stumbled backwards, my hands still clasped tightly round the neck of the tall glass. Heaving my head back, I took another intake that sent me toppling to the ground with a thump.
That was for Helena, the person that I had known all my life, the person I had trusted more than anybody else on the face of the earth…the person who had once been my best friend.
My body felt lifeless and as heavy as lead. I let out a wheezy sob, and, using all the strength left in my body, I swallowed the last of the fluid.
And that…that was for love, the thing that had turned me into this…this obscene creature. Now I am nothing more than a wreck…a worthless…desolate…unloved…wreck…
Darkness seemed to have overtaken me with ease, although I was still aware of where I was and what had happened. My stomach finally let out the eerie lurch I had been waiting for. I gagged loudly as my throat wretched.
I tilted my head to the side, too out of it to scramble to my feet and run towards the bathroom. Instead, I let the acidic smell of vomit rush up my throat and pour out of my mouth onto the plush, clean carpet.
Letting out a raspy whimper, my insides pumped again. It seemed to repeat over and over as I gasped, bringing up everything as my stomach emptied. Tears of agony slipped down my cheeks as I attempted to get myself back on my feet, but as hard as I tried I couldn’t.
The ring of the phone made me jump out of my skin, and my hands were up to my head in a flash, clutching it as loud streaks of thunder rumbled inside my skull. Frantically I managed to get myself on my hands and knees and crawled across the floor towards the phone.
The beep of the answer machine sounded before I could reach it. I groaned loudly at the sound of my mother’s voice, which rang through my ears with the most terrible shriek.
“Keira, darling, just ringing to tell you I will be back shortly in 45 minutes or so. The traffic’s horrific on the main road. Love you, sweetheart.”<br>
My eyes widened in horror as they riveted to the trail of vomit sinking into the pores of the carpet. Cursing loudly, I managed to stand on my feet shakily and ran, or rather wobbled, into the kitchen.
Glancing at the time as if it was a horrific monster, I hastily filled a bucket with soapy hot water, threw in a sponge, and heaved it into the living room.
I spent the rest of that 45 minutes slaving away on the god forsaken carpet that I didn’t even like.
During the entire time, my head throbbed continuously, as if it was on the verge of exploding. My fragile body ached from head to toe, and I thought I was going to pass out from the torment I was experiencing.
I staggered toward the window, in hope that the now extremely wet carpet would dry in the few spare minutes. My mother would be home shortly and would step happily into the house, not knowing the damage I had caused to myself.
If she found out, I knew that she would be all over me for weeks on end. Not that I would have minded, but the sheer fact that she would be disappointed in me would haunt me like a lingering shadow of doom. She would be upset that I had not dealt with my problems, and instead had let them knot up inside so tightly they could not unravel.
I tenderly felt the cut and bruised flesh on my forehead, where it had been hurt badly by the corner of the table. In a way, I felt as if my heart was like that.
My heart seemed to be bruised painfully, slashed into tiny pieces with a dagger, and it seemed to repeat every time a thought of the past rushed into my mind.
Pain was what I felt, and although I didn’t like it, I knew it would not vanish under a pleading wish. It would take time…a lot of time.
You saying your writing isn't at par makes one feel like... umm you know how a really anorexically skinny person comes up to you and tells you they are so fat when you can really do without a couple of hundred inches off your thighs... Yeah... thats what I feel like when I hear you say you suck! ;D
;D
