Chances Are *COMPLETE*

[thankful24]

yes, i think i must be mental. One of my biggest pet peeves is starting something new without finishing something you started- i know i still have Better Days, which is why i'm putting that one on Hiatus- i WILL still update that one, and it WILL still be finished, but my muse is pushing me to post this one. This one is gonna be updated more often because i'm feeling it right now and i know where it's going...so with that being said....

Title: Chances Are
Author: Carrie
Rating PG-13, at highest, mainly PG
Disclaimer: I own neither Keira, or Orlando (sadly), or any of their friends or family. This is all in good fun, and is not to be taken seriously.


Chances Are


How horrible is it when your life starts to become a lie?

For the next six months, the life I will lead in public won’t be mine. I’ll spend the next 180 days or so being someone I’m not, living with a man who I now loathed more than words alone could express.

The key word there is ‘now’.

But not all of the story will be untrue. The very beginning, what played out in movie theaters and televisions across the globe, was real. He was my best friend, someone I was close to, one of the only people I could trust with the feelings I knew he was experiencing too. It was away from the cameras, the lights, the stage and the applause that we connected on a level I’d never some close to with anyone else before. We’d spend hours talking outside, by the ocean, with the stars blinking above us like glitter spread on black felt catching the light from a bulb. And each day, on that beautiful island where I’ d never thought I would ever see, I’d lie awake and think of how it would break my heart if he had to leave. For all intents and purposes, he’d become my rock, my lifeline, and the only thing that kept me from drowning in the life I’d been thrown into.

Before that night, the one that changed everything, I’d considered those days and nights as a chapter in my life that I could always go back to in my mind when things got to be too overwhelming. I’d come to trust him with my dreams, my fears... my life. I trusted his words, and the touch of his hand, so much so that when we finally made that leap from friendship to something considerably greater, even though I was petrified, I thought we’d be okay.

That was before I’d woken up and found him gone.

That night, one I thought I’d cherish forever, suddenly turned ugly when the notion that he’d used me came to light. Had I been used to this sort of thing I think I may have taken it a little better. But I wasn’t a slut, and even though I’d had been with a boyfriend I’d had when I was younger, never before I had I given myself to someone so completely only to find total devastation when I awoke.

So now, after countless months of barely seeing each other, of barely acknowledging each other‘s existence, we were once again being thrown together, only this time the circumstances were different. This time it wasn’t about starting a career, it was about keeping two of them afloat. And for the second time in my life I feel like I’m drowning all over again.

Only this time there’s no one to help me keep my head above water.

~*~*~*~*~


With a sigh she snapped the notebook shut and closed her eyes, knowing more than anything that in the months to come there were going to be more tears. Many more tears.

Keeping her eyes closed she hugged a pillow to her chest and lay on her side, replaying the meeting over and over again in her mind.

“Keira, sales have dropped in the past few weeks. And your target audience seems to be pulling away from you slowly, but surely. If we want to keep you at the level you were, we’re going to have to do something big.” Simon said, leaning forward to place his forearms on the desk.

Keira sat opposite him, staring at her hands, knowing that what he said was true. She’d lost touch with her fans, opting to spend as many hours and minutes alone as she could. She was sabotaging everything she’d worked so hard to get, and so hard to prove. But she was at the point that she didn’t care. This business, as much as she’d dreamed it to be everything she ever wanted, was different. Her career, in her eyes, was tainted with what she’d let herself do five months before. And quite honestly, it wasn’t something she wanted to save anymore.

But she had a contract and if she didn’t fulfill her obligations, she’d be sued, all over the tabloids, and things would be even worse than they already were. So instead of bursting into tears and begging Simon to let her go, she looked up into his eyes, vowing to that she would not let him hurt her anymore.

“What do I have to do?” Her voice came out choked and soft, and she had to clear her throat and repeat the question. “What do I have to do?”

She watched Simon lean back in his imported Italian leather chair and sigh. No one knew exactly what had happened that night, but looking in Simon’s eyes right then she thought she saw something that hinted he had an idea. But business was business, and although he cared about Keira, this was the only thing the management team could think of to jump start their young careers again. The two of them together had been magic, gold, and had catapulted them close to superstardom. One night together had sent them crashing down, leaving both of them refusing to see the other. But this was the only thing left to try.

“I need you two to pretend to be together.”

“Umm... be... what kind of... together?” She asked, already having difficulty breathing.

“Elizabeth and Will together.”

All she could do was stare back at her manager, not a sound coming from her slightly parted lips, except for the air leaving her lungs completely.. Words fled her mind. And before she could try to speak, he was continuing.

“Keira, I have no idea what happened between the two of you, and honestly I don’t want to. But the fact of the matter is, from day one, even though you guys were incredible separate, together you were untouchable. I can’t ignore what’s been happening the last few months, and I know this may sound harsh, but if you fail... this company stands to lose a lot of money, time, and credibility. And as much as I care about keeping you happy, I need to do my job here first.”

She licked her lips and stared past him out the window, focusing on a sky that seemed too blue and perfect for the way she was feeling, wishing she could just run and never come back. “So... what do I have to do?” She asked, her voice cracking.

“First thing tomorrow, you have to get on a plane and fly to New York. Orlando is already out there. From the moment you step off of that plane, you and Orlando are completely in love. At least as far as the public is concerned.” Simon noticed the tears she held in her brown eyes. He felt bad for having to do this, but they were out of options.

“And behind closed doors?” She asked, her voice catching with the pressure of unshed tears, keeping her eyes on the blue, blue sky.

“Behind closed doors you don‘t have to keep up appearances . But outside-”

“I know,” Keira cut him off, piercing his eyes with her own as one, slow tear glided down her cheek. “Outside... I love him.”


~*~*~*~*~


She barely slept that night and managed just a short nap on the plane. Five months had past, five long months that had left her feeling empty and broken. She’d gotten to the point that she could sleep at night and not dream about them together, only to wake up in tears. And now she was going to have to do it all over again.

She looked around at the other passengers on the plane, fighting the urge to scream. She didn’t want this. She couldn’t do it. She wasn’t strong enough to handle it a second time around, and she knew the moment she saw him it would break her.

Keira swallowed hard, stopping a passing stewardess for some water. Taking a few deep breaths, she forced herself to calm down. Showing him a part of her had died inside when he’d left would only prove that he had won, and there was no way in hell she was going to let that happen. She’d shown him her tears two weeks after he’d left, at the screening of the movie in London. She vowed to herself he wouldn’t see them a second time.

The stewardess returned with her water and with a small thank you, Keira sipped it, grateful that the coldness of the liquid seemed to loosen the lump in her throat. It was six months. She could get through six months. She’d gotten through much more in her life.

Not much time seemed to pass before the Captain came over the intercom, announcing that they were a few minutes ahead of schedule, their landing should be smooth, and that it was a beautiful fall day in New York. She listened with a deaf ear, hearing only the words Simon and she had spoken the day before.

“From the moment you step off of that plane, you and Orlando are completely in love. At least as far as the public is concerned.” ... “And behind closed doors?” ...“Behind closed doors you don‘t have to keep up appearances . But outside-” ... “I know... Outside... I love him.”

She felt the wheels of the plane touch down and watched as the terminal came swiftly into view.

“From the moment you step off of that plane...”

“... I love him.”


~*~*~*~*~


She was the last one off the plane, staying in her seat as long as possible, as if trying to postpone the inevitable. Eyes closed she swallowed back tears and stood, pulling her carry-on out from the overhead compartment. She said a quite ‘thank you’ to the airline attendants as she entered the terminal, head down, eyes still slightly blurry. If people noticed, she’d say her allergies had acted up on the plane. No one would know that with each step she took her heart begged her to turn back around.

Sniffling one last time, she lifted her head and glanced around quickly. Simon had informed both of them by way of a conference call that Orlando would be the one to pick her up from the airport and take her back to his hotel to share the same room. The thought of being in another hotel room, alone... with him, made her want to vomit, but she did her best to keep that from showing. Everyone always said she was the strongest person they knew. Now it was time to prove it.

It took less than two minutes for her to catch sight of Orlando, hurrying his way through the crowded terminal with something in his hand. She stayed where she was, convincing herself it was best but knowing at the same time her feet wouldn’t move anyway. In a few minutes he was in front of her, and before a word was uttered by either, he swept her in his arms and kissed her.

No, no, no, NO! Her heart screamed at her to stop, but her head smothered the message. If she pushed him away, as much as she wanted to with every fiber of her being, she knew that happy couples kissed when they’d spent time apart, and for the next six months she was half of a happy couple whether she liked it or not. So she returned the kiss as she shook in his arms.

He released her slowly, her body still trembling, a trained smile pasted on her lips. Her eyes, however, gave her away. She was having a terrible time holding herself together and the pain reflected there made his heart break. He knew how difficult it was for her, because it was just as difficult for him, but never, never, would she know.

“These are for you,” he said, handing her an assortment of brightly colored tulips. Unusual flower to give your ‘girlfriend’, but then again he’d never really been the conventional kind of guy. She thanked him on a whisper, and took them slowly.

“Do you have any other bags?” He asked, taking the carry-on from her tight grasp. She shook her head no, not able to speak. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth like she’d just eaten a big spoonful of peanut butter. He reached for her hand, and when their fingers connected she jerked it back, holding her small palm hand in her other.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “You shocked me, I guess.” The statement was meant for everyone around them, but the truth behind her words was that she was shocked, just not in the electrically charged way she allowed others to believe, and she tentatively slipped her soft hand back into his.

“It’s okay. How was your flight?” He asked, leading her through the sea of people around them. She was overwhelmed, and scared, and as much as he wanted to change that he couldn’t.

“Fine.” One word. He hated how awkward things were between them when before it had all been so easy. Being with her had always been easy... except that one night.

“Are you hungry or anything?” He looked at her as he spoke, seeing her walk with her head down. It was then he noticed that she’d changed. Not just by outer appearances, either. Her spirit had been broken and it was he who had taken the hammer to it.

“No.” They stopped outside and he raised his arm for a taxi, her now longer hair dancing around her head in the breeze. She pulled her coat tighter around her and for a minute, just a minute, Orlando ached to hold her.

They said nothing more as they climbed into the cab and sat close, but not touching, on the ride to the hotel. A million thoughts ran through her head as the taxi raced around the busy streets of New York. And all of them left her wondering if she would ever feel like herself again.

They pulled to a stop in front of the hotel and Orlando opened the door to step out, reaching in to offer his hand to help her. She slid across the seat and softly, as if not to touch him too much, placed her warm hand in his. Her eyes flicked to his briefly before staring straight in front of her at the small crowd that had amassed. The two of them signed a few autographs before Orlando informed the crowd that, although they’d love to stay outside and talk some more, Keira wasn’t feeling well and needed some rest. Nobody questioned his excuse, taking in Keira’s soft makeup that didn’t quite cover the faint blue rings under eyes and the lack of enthusiasm she had, so they said good bye and left the group to go upstairs to his, no to their, room.

The ride up in the elevator was like the car ride over; completely silent except for their breathing. When the elevator dinged signaling their floor, he held out his hand for her to go first, which she did, but then let Orlando lead the way.

Sliding the card in the lock, he waited until the light flashed green, then pulled it out and opened the door. Keira followed him in, watching as he set the small duffle bag on the floor next to the couch in the suite. Her eyes drank in her surroundings and stopped to focus on the large bed through the open bedroom door. God, please don’t do this to me, she silently begged.

Orlando followed her line of sight, then turned back to her. “There’s only one bed, but I can sleep on the couch if you want,” he said, in a quite voice she’d only heard once before, but never wanted to hear again.

She bit down on her lip hard, trying to keep tears from breaking free as she turned away. “W-where’s the bathroom?” She asked in a tear-thick voice.

“Keira-”

“No. I just... where’s the bathroom?” She asked again. He pointed in the direction of what she was seeking and watched her walk inside and shut the door behind her. He wanted to tell her, explain what happened that night, but he knew she didn’t want to talk about it. Either that or she couldn’t.

Inside the bathroom, Keira sat on the floor by the large tub, knees pulled up to her chest as she cried. It was too hard to be near him, to hate him and to still love him at the same time. She sobbed into her arms, not caring that mascara transferred from her wet lashes to her sweater. Six months with him was too long... and too much for her heart to handle.



~*~*~*~*~


Orlando could hear her crying through the door. He placed his hand against the wood, letting his fingertips slide slowly across the white-painted surface. He’d done this to her. He made her change from what she was into this. All those months he’s wanted to call her, but the night of the screening, while sitting with three people in between them watching a love unfold in front of their eyes that he knew wasn’t scripted, that she knew wasn’t, the fact that he hadn’t answered her calls in two weeks made it seem like nothing more than a few well rehearsed lines. He couldn’t tell her then, just as he couldn’t tell her now, that his feelings for her were so deep they sacred him. So instead of handling it in a way she’d understand, he left… and deliberately set out to hurt her that night.

He heard water running from the other side of the door and turned away, letting his fingers linger on the panel for just a moment as if to touch her before he headed back into the bedroom to pull out some blankets and pillows for the couch. All of a sudden he felt tired.


~*~*~*~*~


The image that reflected back at her made her feel no better. She’d promised herself he wouldn’t see her like this, that he would never see how much he’d killed her. It wasn’t about letting him know she still cared. It was about showing him she would never let him hurt her again.

Deciding the makeup she wore was useless, Keira turned on the faucet, slipping her hand underneath to gauge the temperature of the water before turning the hot water on a little more. She pulled the hair tie off her wrist and used it to hold back her darker, now longer locks as she washed away any sign of her emotional outburst. Using the bar of soap left by the sink she scrubbed it all away, trying to take away the memory of his hand in hers from earlier. Too many memories. Hardly any of them brought her joy, not like they used to.

She turned off the faucet after rinsing the soap away, and used the towel hanging on the rack to dry her skin. It smelled of him, she realized, involuntarily breathing in his scent. When she caught herself, the towel was dropped, her eyes penetrating the terrycloth. She picked it back up a second later then hung it back on the rack, opening the door that separated her and Orlando.

Six months ago, they’d have killed to be in the same place at the same time together. It was hard for her, being so far away from him when all she wanted to do was bury her face in his neck and have him hold her all night. But they took what they got, thinking that after a while it would be okay, and on their own terms they could take the next step she wasn’t quite ready for. He understood, he told her. He’d wait forever for her. In the end, it had been she who pressured herself and not the other way around.

From the corner of her eye, from her spot standing in the middle of the room looking towards that big hotel bed, she saw him look at her. She didn’t return his contact, choosing instead to walk into the bedroom and close the door behind her. Shutting him out. And as she stood looking at the bed, leaning against the door, she realized how exhausted she was. She crawled up the bed from the foot, perched on her knees to pull the blankets back, then slid her jeans and sweater off, choosing to sleep only in her underwear and the white tank top she‘d worn underneath her outer clothes. Trying to ignore the fact that he was on the other side of the door, she closed her eyes and willed sleep to come.


~*~*~*~*~


It was dark when he awoke, having laid down himself after she’d disappeared behind the bedroom door, and he wondered if she was awake. He pushed back the blanket and stood up, slipping on silent feet to the door. He put his ear close to the panel and listened, not hearing anything. Deciding to take the risk of her being awake, he turned the knob slowly, pushing the door open with the soft creak of the hinges being the only sound in the suite.

The light from the open drapes spilled across the bed and onto her hair. He walked to the bed and stared down, the sight of her grabbing at his heart. Her lips were slightly parted, enough that he could hear the soft inhale and exhale of her breath. Remnants of tears left dried trails on her cheeks, pieces of her hair falling into her closed eyes. She was laying on her side, her right hand resting just under her cheek the arm attached crossing over her chest, the other simply laying in front of her body. The thick down comforter had been pushed down in her sleep so it sat just on her hips and her white tank top rode up her smooth stomach a bit. The lowered covers gave him a slight view of the purple panties covering her. Seeing her without her slightly baggy clothes from earlier, he realized that she’d lost weight, and she hadn’t needed to. For a moment, air escaped him and he struggled to breathe. Then he sucked in a much air as his pained body could take before pulling up the covers gently and laying them over her. She didn’t stir and Orlando reached out his fingers to brush the wispy locks of silk out of her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Keir,” he whispered. He took one last look at her before he left the room.

He closed the door slowly behind him, hearing the soft click of the latch catching. He pulled his sneakers on, then grabbed his key and coat, needing to put some distance between the two of them or he would break.

~*~*~*~*~

[thankful24]

She wasn’t sure what time it was, but she knew she’d at least slept through the night, a thought that relieved her in ways no one could understand. It had been a long time since she’d slept that long, and she felt somewhat restored and a little like her old self as she pushed away the thoughts of him being near as to the reason she’d slept so soundly. She sat up and slid the covers off, reaching to pull on the jeans she’d discarded the night before. She needed a shower and something to eat before she and Orlando headed out to a day of promotional work they had on their schedule.

She opened the door and saw him sitting on the couch, watching the morning news on CNN. She didn’t say a word to him as she grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom.

Standing under the stinging spray in the shower stall, Keira let her hands rests on the cool tiles in front of her, bracing her body as she stood. She could make it through the next six months. She had to.

She turned the water off and wrapped her body in a thick towel, stepping over to the fogged mirror. Swiping her hand across the mist, she stared at herself. Drops of water dripped from the ends of her hair onto her shoulders, her back, the towel. With a quite sigh, she picked up the comb she’d left on the counter and level her gaze back at her reflection. “I can do this,” she said, and pulled the comb through her wet tresses. “I can do this...”


~*~*~*~*~


Orlando turned at the sound of the door opening a few minutes later. He watched her step out of the bathroom barefoot, a caramel colored long-sleeved shirt and a pair of khaki-tinted dark jeans covering her body. Her hair hung straight and fell over her shoulders like silk, and he watched her sit on the floor by the bathroom door to pull on a pair of socks and brown shoes. She wasn’t that close but the smell of her shampoo mixed with her perfume reached him and it made him wonder why he’d put her through what he had.

She cleared her throat and he pulled himself out of his reverie to meet her eyes. The soft brown touched his heart as she blinked a few times, then turned her head to break the stare, obviously uncomfortable with what just passed between them. “Do you have to use the shower?” She asked, busying herself with putting her things back into her bag.

“No, I already did. You don’t have to put them back. You could just leave that stuff in the bathroom,” he said, his eyes never leaving her body.

“Yeah, well...” she trailed off, straightening once again and started to make her way back to the bedroom, but he surprised both of them by reaching out to catch her arm as she tried to pass by. She didn’t pull away, just stiffened and refused silently to look at him.

“Keira, we have to talk,” he said pleadingly.

“No, we don’t. It’s in the past. Let’s just let it stay there,” she whispered, starting to tremble.

“Keira, please...”

“Please let me go.” His heart broke at the tone of her voice, sounding so scared and vulnerable.

“Baby-” He hadn’t meant to say that, but somehow it just slipped out. It was what he had always called her.

She turned to face him, the fire in her eyes quieted only by the traces of tears there also. “Don’t call me that. I am not your baby. Not anymore,” she said through clenched teeth. With that, she yanked her arm back and walked away to the bedroom. “Let me know when we have to leave,” she called over her shoulder before slamming the door behind her.

“Damn it!” Orlando threw a pillow across the room, frustrated he couldn’t reach her. If he could tell her what happened, how he felt, things would be different, he knew that. But the wall she put up was keeping him out. And he had no one to blame but himself.


~*~*~*~*~


Damn him for calling me that! Damn him for looking at me that way, for grabbing hold of me, for just being here! Doesn’t he realize that I can’t do this?? I can’t bring myself to act like it’s not killing me to be near him, because it is! It’s too hard to be strong around him. It’s too hard to pretend that nothing happened between us, that he didn’t spend that night with me. Too hard not look at him and remember how it felt, how HE felt. I can’t do it. I just can’t.

Keira threw the pen in her hand across the room, watching it bounce on the thick carpeting as she pushed her hands up through her hair on the sides of her head. Her back to the wall, knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them, she gently rocked back and forth, quiet tears slipping down her cheeks. “I can’t...” she cried.


~*~*~*~*~


An hour later, she stood when she heard the telephone ring, signaling their ride had arrived downstairs. She checked her appearance in the mirror over the dresser, smoothing down her hair a little. As she was doing this, there was a knock at the door.

“Keira, the car is here.” His voice came through the wood separating them, and for a minute she recalled another time when they’d been together, a time that seemed so far away, but still so close.

“Keir, hurry up! They’re going to think we snuck off to do something.” Orlando said his voice coming through the door to the bathroom.

“We did sneak off to do something, remember? Or did you forget the hour of heavy breathin’ we just finished,” she laughed as she opened the door. She found him standing there smiling at her and she smiled back, reaching out to take his hand.

“No, I didn’t forget. Trust me, after a make out session like that, it’ll be running through my mind all day...” he said, pulling her hand up to kiss the back of it.

It touched her heart, that simple gesture to show he cared, and she closed her eyes as his next kiss landed on her forehead. She sighed when he slowly pulled away and opened her eyes as he brushed his lips over hers. “Do you think it’ll be weird? Us being together?” She asked, her accent coming out.

“No,” he said, looking straight into her eyes. “I think nothing’s ever made more sense.”

The second knock on the door made her jump and she found her voice. “I- I’m coming.”

That day, if she remembered correctly, which she knew she did, was when they decided friendship wasn’t enough anymore. But they’d take it slow, he said. They’d go at the pace she wanted.

Running her hand back through her hair once more she expelled a deep breath and opened the door. Orlando was standing by the main door of the suite, his back pack on the floor by his feet as he dialed a number on his cell phone. She grabbed her purse off the table by the door where she’d left it and started to walk past him, but his words stopped her. “Keira, wait.” She shuddered when a time he spoke those words before replayed in her mind.

“Keira wait!”

She turned around to see Orlando running towards her, a single white rose in his hand. She stopped in mid-step and set the suitcase down as he skidded to a stop in front of her, doubled over and out of breath. “You... can’t ... leave,” he panted, handing her the flower.

“Orlando,” she sighed as she accepted his gift. “I have to go. You know I don’t want to, but I do.” she put her warm palm to his cheek as he straightened. Orlando reached out and grabbed her around the waist, hugging her to his body while he breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

“Kiss me,” he begged, turning his face to her neck.

“Orlando...”

“No, Keira. No. I don’t care who’s watching. I don’t care if I get hell for it. You’re leaving me for two weeks. I just... ” he looked into her eyes, trying to find the words to say.

“You just what?” She asked.

“I need to know you’re real. That I can have you in my arms and feel you there... and know you’re real.” he said.

His sincere statement brought tears to her eyes and she stood on tiptoes to press her lips to his is soft, sweet kiss. She felt his tongue part her lips and she let him, sinking against him. She knew then, without a doubt, that she loved him.

When he pulled away, he brushed underneath her eyes with his thumbs, wiping away any traces of tears that had formed. “Miss me, okay,” he whispered, kissing her forehead.

“Always...”

She looked like she was in pain; physical, heartbreaking pain as she turned her haunted eyes to his. “I’m going to need my own room,” she croaked out. He could see the silent war going on behind her eyes and even if she didn’t want to hear it, or didn’t believe him at that, he wanted to explain what he felt the last night they were together.

“When we get back tonight, we’ll see what we can do. But only after we talk. You’re not the only one who’s hurting, Keira. You just don’t see it,” he said, lifting his bag, never taking his eyes off hers.

“I think that’s a bunch of bullsh*t. If you were hurting so much, you wouldn’t have left. Or maybe you would have picked up the phone to see how I was. Either way I just don’t care anymore. Six months is too long. I’ll get through three months with you, no longer. Even that might be tough.” With one last piercing look into his eyes, she turned around and headed to the elevator, with Orlando walking after her. He knew what would happen. They would play this game for as long as they had to, and then she would be gone for good.



i hope you like it so far- ah the drama. I have to say that i'm really into this one, maybe even more than "Waiting"
As always, i love to hear your thoughts, critisism, comments- it's what pushes me to write more!!

[Lola]

New fic!!... I loved it! ;D.. you´re such an amazing writer!, i´ve nearly got goosebumps!!...

[xstepheezy]

wow that was great! (=

[missendicott]

I felt like crying with Keira too! That made me feel sad! It's wonderful though! update please!

[venus567]

sad yet beutiful! ;D

[pottypirate]

Brillant start to your fic yet again any Orlando/Keira love coming soon?

[thankful24]

Twelve hours later, they arrived back at the hotel, all smiles, as they held hands walking inside. A passerby would take one look and think they were happy. But the two of them knew the truth. People would no longer bag on their performances if they knew what was really going on.

As soon as they were on the elevator, Keira let go of Orlando and stepped as far away from his as she could in the small space. And he made up his mind right then and there that, whether she liked it or not, she was going to know his side before the night was over.

He opened the door and watched as she opened her purse, searched out her phone, then let the bag fall to the floor. She kept her eyes down, knowing full well that his eyes were still on her, and walked into the bedroom to call home. But before she could get far Orlando grabbed her and cradled her body around the waist and under her legs, causing her to drop her phone onto the floor.

“What the hell are you doing?! Put me down!” She yelled. He didn’t answer as he carried her to the couch and deposited her on it, not giving her enough reaction time to get up before he settled his body over hers in an effort to make her listen.

“Get off me,” she said with controlled evenness, but he knew better. She was breaking and trying not to let him see.

“No.” One word, that’s all. She wasn’t squirming and he took that as a sign that she would listen, even if it killed her to do so. It was then, as they locked eyes on each other, touching really for the first time in months that she broke down.

“Please don’t do this to me, Orlando. Not now,” she begged looking away as tears spilled from the corners or her eyes.

“Keira... baby, it has to be now. We’ve gone too long as it is,” he said, letting go of her arm to push her tear soaked hair out of her eyes.

“But I just got over you,” she whispered on a soft sob.

As much as he wanted, needed, her to understand, it couldn’t be this way. He couldn’t force her to listen, or to realize that what he’d done had been the only option left. He could keep her here, hold her down as he spoke words she’d shut out... or he could wait. Wait until finally, finally, she was ready.

He sat back, the weight of his body lifting off her. He watched as she sat up, then stood and began to wander listlessly around the dim room. The small lamp in the bedroom she’d flipped on was the only light around them and the beams caught the dark caramel highlights in her hair making them shine, and the tiny tears that lingered on her flushed cheeks sparkled like crystal. She straightened her wrinkled shirt, smoothing it down from her chest to her stomach as she breathed deep, in and out, trying to stop the flood of emotions spinning inside her. Through all of this he watched her. Just watched.

“Do you realize that the only time you’ve said my name was to beg me not to hurt you?” He asked, shattering the heartbreaking silence.

“Not until just now,” she whispered, stopping to stare out the window. She put her fingers to the pane of glass, taking notice of the slight fog that formed around her fingertips. The night had turned cold outside, and she found herself wondering if maybe some of that chill had seeped into her heart.

“Keira... we don’t have to talk about what happened. But I don’t want to not talk at all,” he said, still watching as she never turned his way.

“I need time, Orlando. I just need some time.” She spoke softly, removing her fingers from the window. When she turned around to face him, her eyes had never been clearer. “Can you give me that?” She asked, her eyes never breaking the connection she’d made with his.

He nodded, then choked out his response. “Yes... I can.”

She turned back towards the window, looking at the city lights and bustling street below once more before she exited the room to go to bed. She stopped at the door as if wanting to say something more, but seemed to think better of it and stepped over the threshold, closing the door softly behind her.


~*~*~*~*~


That night shattered something in both of them. In Orlando it was the idea that what he’d done was right. Nothing that was right caused this amount of pain. In Keira it was a piece of the wall she’d built to protect herself from him. And in the days that followed an unspoken truce of sorts was passed between them.

It wasn’t like before. They didn’t stay up for hours just talking about nothing. Nor did they participate in the comfortable activities they used to, like watching movies in their pajamas, laughing as imitated the actors on the TV screen. But no longer did she feel the need to shut herself away from him, and in his mind that was close enough.


~*~*~*~*~


In the backseat of the black BMW, Keira yawned and leaned her head against the window. Getting up at five in the morning wasn’t exactly fun for her, especially since she‘d been up coughing and sniffling the night before, but at least all she’s had to do was shower and change into something comfortable. The TV studio would do her makeup and hair, and a stylist would bring the wardrobe.

Her eyes shifted towards the door at Orlando’s entrance. She felt the seat dip as he sat next to her, but said nothing. Before, some comment would have been made about her being up before him and she would throw something back about him having to contain his wild hair first, but today there was nothing. And for the first time in the six weeks since she’d been stuck with him, it made her sad.

When she felt his arm slide behind her, she stiffened, but then realized that this car’s windows weren’t tinted. She opened her eyes and saw the people standing on the street, watching the two of them, and once again, Simon’s words echoed through her brain.

“From the moment you step off of that plane, you and Orlando are completely in love. At least as far as the public is concerned.”

As hard as it was, she made herself shift in the seat so she was sitting close to him, laying her head on his shoulder. Breathing was difficult enough, but being with him like this, on top of being congested made it so much worse. Even though they’d come to an understanding, and she hadn’t cried in a while, the thought of him touching her still pained her. She wouldn’t tell him it was because all she could think about was their last night together whenever their bodies made any kind of contact. She’d let him believe that it was only because she didn’t want to be there with him.

She felt his breath against her ear before he spoke and the minty scent of toothpaste followed the, “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head as if the say ‘never mind’, and closed her eyes, breathing slowly, taking in the scent of him. And suddenly, she felt comforted.

Twenty minutes later they arrived at the NBC studios, and she was thankful for the hat she’d grabbed last minute to hide her mop of wet hair, sleepy eyes and runny nose. There were people everywhere. Before they got out of the car, the bodyguard in the front seat turned around with instructions.

“No autographs until after you’re done. It’s still dark out and we don’t have enough security with us right now for me to be comfortable with that. Wave if you want, but do not stop.” He looked at Keira for the last part and she sat up with wide eyes.

“What’re you saying man?” She asked, slight indignation in her voice that he knew wasn’t real.

“I don’t know Miss ‘I have to wear out my hand signing things wherever I go’. I know you Miss Keira. That’s the first thing you would gone for if I hadn’t said nothin’ to you. So warm up your muscles in you hand by practicing inside, then you can come out here and sign for an hour or so. After that, we have to go ‘cuz you guys have a full day today. Understand?” He asked, smiling at the girl.

“Yeah yeah... whaaaaaatever.” she joked, rolling her eyes. With a laugh, the big man got out of the car and opened Orlando’s side first. Orlando climbed out then reached his hand in for Keira. Flashbulbs were lighting up the dark morning and the two of them waved, promising to sign things when they came out. As soon as they entered the Today Show studio, they were taken in different directions to get ready.


~*~*~*~*~


She sat back in the makeup chair, staring herself down in the lighted mirror in front of her. A million and one things were buzzing in her mind, and she couldn’t make sense of one of them. She didn’t know how she felt anymore. After what happened she had taken back what she said about only staying for three months. It wasn’t because she forgave him, because she didn’t. Nor did she understand because they had yet to talk about it and she wasn’t ready to know either. She knew he had his reasons, but for the time being it was better for her if he kept them to himself. But there were times when she caught him staring at her, times she knew all he wanted to do was explain, but she couldn’t. Because if he did, she may forgive him, and she wasn’t sure that was what she wanted yet. She’d jumped in headfirst with him one time. It wasn’t going to happen again. She wasn’t the naive girl she was six months ago. And as much as she’d settled into the comfortable routine of the two of them in the last month and a half, she was counting the days until she was away from him... and the day when her heart could beat without it hurting so much.

She saw the door open from behind her in the mirror and he stuck his head in. She sat alone on the small dressing room; she’d quietly asked everyone if she could have some time to herself before she went on camera. Her eyes locked with his without turning around and she saw him swallow hard, so she offered him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Hey...” she said softly. He could hear the sickness in her voice, but she seemed not to care, at least not about that.

“Hey... They told me to come in here to get you,” he explained, not moving from the entryway of the door. Sadness struck her again, and thoughts of the two of them playing jokes on the other cast members floated around her memory.

“Orlando... I’m... I’m not trying to punish you more by being this way. I just-”

“Need time? I know Keira. It’s okay,” he said. “Just come out in the hallway when you’re ready.” With that, the door closed behind him and she sighed. Four and a half months left.

*~*~*~*~*

The questions were normal. Both Orlando and Keira found themselves trying not to ask the questions themselves they came with such predictability. But both of them smiled and answered each one with false sincerity.

“With the exception of the last month or so, we haven’t seen much of you two together? Was there trouble in paradise?” Matt Lauer laughed.

If you only knew… Keira thought, but smiled and turned to Orlando, letting him handle that one. It was his choice in that matter. Keira had simply had to go along with it.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably and glanced at Keira to his right. He knew this question would have come out some time during the interview. “No, no trouble. I was spending a lot of time at the studio working, and Keira was doing the same. But we saw each other a lot. One of us would fly in to see the other wherever we happened to be at the time. And she’d gone overseas for a few months where, unfortunately, I couldn’t accompany her on her latest project,” he answered and she was silently impressed with the way the lie rolled off his tongue so easily.

“It must have been hard for the two of you. But it looks like you made it through just fine. I know everyone is wondering when you’re both coming out with new movies, maybe another joint project perhaps?” He asked with a smile.

“I just ended filming about six weeks ago and the movie should be out in about two months, right about a week before Christmas. And Orlando is still in and out of the studio filming,” Keira answered, reminding herself silently not sniffle on camera.

“Actually, we’ll be going back into the studio later this month to film a few pick up shots for Pirates 3. And we should be completely finished with it in the next two months,” Orlando added.

Keira turned her head and stared at Orlando, wondering when she was supposed to be let in on that little piece of information. Apparently they didn’t feel the need to inform her before she went on national television.

“It’s been a pleasure having you both stop by this morning. Maybe you’ll come back and talk with us again when the movie comes out in theaters. Keira, you make sure he takes good care of you while you’re not feeling well,” the reporter laughed.

Keira smile cordially in return and responded with, “I definitely will, thank you.”

“Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom everyone. We’ll be right back.”

Keira and Orlando were thanked and de-miked, and then left the studio, following Tom, the security guard, into the parking garage. She’d forgotten about the promise she’d received earlier regarding the fans as the two of them slipped in the backseat of the car again, choosing instead to question Orlando on this newly attained information. “So, tell me again about this pick up shot deal,” she said, covering her mouth as she coughed.

“Didn’t Simon tell you about it?” Orlando asked, watching as she reached in her purse and pulled out a mini package of tissues.

“No. This is the first I heard about it. But it would have been nice if I’d known about it before I looked like a clueless moron back there.”

As she held the tissue to her face, he took notice of how pale she’d gotten just since that morning. “Are you okay? You don‘t look so good.”

“Gee thanks Orlando. Way to kick me when I’m down,” she mumbled, clearly cranky.

“I’m not trying to insult you. I’m just wondering if you’re feeling okay.” he said as she coughed once again,

“I’m fine. I think I just caught a cold or something,” she answered, sniffling.


~*~*~*~*~


Seven hours later she wasn’t so fine. Not only was she coughing and sniffling, but her head had started to pound, her ears felt blocked and for some reason, even though they’d given her a blanket, she couldn’t get warm. So she sat once again in a makeup chair, this time at the MTV studios for TRL, teeth chattering while the poor woman in front of her tried to even out her lipstick.

“Sweetie, I need to you stay still or I’m gonna end up gettin’ it on your teeth,” the woman said. Her name had been mentioned earlier, but it had gotten lost in her fogged mind.

“Sorry.” She concentrated hard on keeping her teeth clamped together tightly, but all it accomplished was making her head hurt even more.

Orlando, who sat in the chair next to her, glanced at Keira in the mirror. It didn’t take a genius to see the girl was clearly sick. But he knew she would never voice her discomfort as long as there was still work to do.

They managed to get her makeup perfected and, with her hair slightly curled, she was ready. They still had a few minutes until they had to go on camera, so she got up from the makeup chair and followed Orlando and a stage manager to the green room to await their cue. As soon as she saw the big couch against the wall, she stepped over to it and collapsed down on it sideways, pulling the blanket as tight around her body as she could, laying her head on the back. She closed her eyes, wanting more than anything to just sleep, and felt a warm hand fall softly on her blanketed shoulder. Opening her tired eyes once more she saw Orlando and was caught off guard at the concern lingering in his eyes.

“Do you need anything? Like hot tea or something?” He asked.

“That would actually be great. Thanks.”

He nodded his reply and disappeared into the hallway, returning a few minutes later with a cup of the steaming liquid. He handed her the paper cup and she took it gratefully, sipping it slowly, tasting the honey and mixed in.

“You remembered?” She asked, a little surprised.

“Of course I remembered,” he answered quietly.

Keira stared at him over the top of the cup, not knowing how to respond. Thankfully, she didn’t have to as the stage manager returned to tell them it was time for them to enter the set. Reluctantly, Keira left the blanket on the couch, feeling goose bumps prickle her skin almost instantly. She took one more sip of the tea, then left the cup on the table as they headed out, hoping the next 45 minutes would go fast.
The ride back to Orlando's new apartment was the worst part of the day for her. New York traffic on a weekday coming down Broadway was murderous for anyone, but with the added bonus of her feeling like the walking dead did little to help the situation. The normally ten minute drive took double that, but it felt like so much longer to her.

Orlando stepped out first and when she slid over the seat to so the same a wave of dizziness hit her when she stood, making her feel on the verge of vomiting. She swayed a little and braced herself on the side of the car, and Orlando who had been on his way to the door, made a quick U-turn to help her.

"Don't go passing out on me now, Keira. As soon as we get upstairs you can crash for the rest of the night," he said, looping an arm behind her back and around her waist to help steady her. Half carrying her, Orlando led her up the stairs and to the elevator, not letting go the whole ride up or even when he pulled his keys out of his jacket pocket to unlock the door.

As soon as they'd stepped inside, Orlando helped her to the couch. She laid there, eyes closed, feeling the blood pumping in her head. Beyond caring at that point she said nothing as Orlando slipped off her shoes and covered her with a blanket.

"You don't have to do this," she whispered.

"Don't worry about it. Just get some rest."

Her bleary eyes held his for a second before she broke into another coughing spell and closed them. Orlando grabbed another blanket from the closet and covered her still trembling body. He asked if she needed anything else and when she sleepily replied, "No thank you," he left her to sleep and went to his own room.


~*~*~*~*~


Some time in the middle of the night he awoke to the sounds of gagging in the bathroom. It took a moment for his sleep-clouded mind to remember where he was, but when he did he threw back the blankets and headed for the bathroom.

She'd left the door half open in her haste to make it inside. Pale yellow light spilled out into the hallway in the form of a skinny rectangle. He put his hand to the door and pushed it back slowly, not wanting to scare her.

She sat on floor in front of the toilet, her arms folded on the seat cradling her sweaty head. Her feet were bare and the clothes she'd worn earlier in the day were still on her body. He heard her breath catch a few times, then watched as she sat up quickly and got sick again. In between gagging she cried a little and he felt terrible standing there doing nothing, not that there was much he could do. After a second of watching her heave, he slowly sat down next to her and pealed her damp hair off her sweat-sticky neck. She must have heard him come in because she didn't look up, or react in anyway to his touch.

He sat with her for another ten minutes while she vomited, rubbing her back softly, keeping her hair out of her face. When it seemed she was finally done she sat back and looked into his eyes with tears in her own. "I'm sorry I woke you."

Orlando simply stared back. Typical Keira to think of someone else when she was obviously sick as a dog. He smiled and pushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. "Don't worry about me," he said. "Do you think you're done?"

"I'm not sure yet," she answered.

"Well do you want me to get your pajamas? You can't be comfortable sleeping in those jeans."

She nodded her head with closed eyes, and Orlando went back to the living room to grab her sleepwear out of her bag. He returned a minute later and knelt in front of her with her clothing in his outstretched hand, unsure of how to ask if she needed help getting changed. She anticipated his question and said, "I'll be okay. But when I'm done, could you help me back out to the couch?"

He knew that it took a lot for her to ask him that. Despite the fact that they'd come to an understanding of each other the past few weeks, there was still much she wouldn't go for; touching unless necessary, conversations that got too deep and would reveal too much, and never, never, would she ask his help with something. But now, when both of them were feeling horrible for different reasons, he knew that as much as it bothered her, she would swallow her pride because she simply couldn't do it on her own. She could barely stand up, much less walk all the way back to the living room to try to sleep comfortably. So instead of voicing the million and one concerns he had, he simply smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'll help you."

Keira smiled weakly from her spot on the floor, remnants of the tears she'd shed lingering in the corners of her eyes. "Thanks, Orlando," she whispered.

He left her in the bathroom to do what she had to do and went into the kitchen to see if he could find the thermometer and Tylenol he'd stashed in one of the cabinets. After struggling only slightly with the childproof cap, he took the pills, thermometer and a glass of juice with him to the bathroom. The door was still closed and he heard water running, so he leaned back against the wall, yawning as he waited for her to open it. When she did a minute later she looked a little more comfortable wearing her light purple flannel pajamas with her hair in a ponytail. He'd forgotten to grab her socks so her feet were still bare and it seemed difficult for her to lift them all the way to walk. He arched his back to push away from the wall and stepped towards her holding out the thermometer.

"Here, open up," he said, and she did. The angle in which he held the glass tube caused him to brush his fingers against her lips and the contact jolted them both. But she was too tired and he was too concerned to do anything more than meet each other's eyes. He took her hand and escorted her down the hallway, holding the juice glass with his thumb, index and middle finger and the two pills with the remaining two in his free hand. They took slow steps and just the heat from her hand was enough to make him believe what he knew the thermometer would confirm.

Orlando helped her get situated on the couch, covering her with the two blankets as she squirmed around to make herself more at ease. He grasped the very tip of the thermometer and slid it out of her mouth, holding it up in the light that came from the kitchen to read it. Or try to.

"How the hell does this thing work?" He asked.

On a tired sigh she answered in a raw voice, "You have to aim it so the mercury inside catches the light."

He did as she said and saw that it read a little over 102*
"Here, take these. And if you need more juice or water or anything, let me know. Don't move from the couch, okay," he said, handing her the tiny white tablets.

She took the pills and swallowed, then leaned over to put the glass on the table to her side. "Thank you."

He watched as she drifted off. After thinking about it for less than a minute, Orlando went back to his room, pulled a blanket and pillow off his bed and returned to the living room. He situated himself on the recliner and closed his eyes, making sure to be there in case she needed him, and fell asleep.



hope you like it! more later tongiht, maybe!

[missendicott]

AWW! He's helping her! I feel sorry for Keira! She's having a rough time!

[Lola]

Yay!!... another great chapter!! ;D

[pottypirate]

aww sweet

[designerdenimx3]

ok, so i finally got to read this whole thing and i love it! It's such an origianl idea! Update very, very soon!

[venus567]

that was so beautiful! loved how he was there for her and tried to make things up to her.

[thankful24]

Thanks for the lovely comments ya'll!! i'm glad you are liking it so far! Here's the next update:



Rain pounding against the window and the pain in his lower back woke Orlando several hours later. It took him a minute to remember why he was sleeping the recliner, but when he did his eyes searched out Keira’s sleeping form in the early morning darkness of the living room. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he realized that he had to get up anyway so he stood, stretching out his aching body. Both he and Keira were supposed to do a round of interviews, but Orlando doubted very highly she’d be able to accompany him.

Orlando glanced at her once more before heading to the bathroom to shower and change. If she wasn’t awake when he got out he’d call Simon and let him know she was sick. Turning the faucet on, Orlando stripped off his clothes and stepped under the spray, letting the warm water ease the tense muscles in his shoulders and back.

He mentally went over the agenda for the day. Two radio shows early in the morning, The View at 11, meeting with Simon to discuss their next projects with Keira after lunch, and more radio interviews until 7 or 8. It was going to be a long day.

He stepped out of the shower and dressed. He walked to the kitchen in search of something quick to eat and was surprised to see Keira sitting at the table with a cup of tea in front of her wrapped in one of the blankets she’d slept with. Her cheeks were still flushed and the hair that slipped from her messy ponytail was damp from sweat on the back of her neck. She looked up at his footsteps with eyes not quite adjusted to being open.

“I hope it’s okay that I got this. I just needed something liquid,” she said, her voice a bit scratchy.

“It’s fine. How are you feeling?” He asked, pouring himself a cup of orange juice. He sat across from her and watched her trace the tabletop with her fingers as she answered.

“Like I’m going to die. But other than that, not too bad.” She cracked a smile and he gave her one back. She ran her finger around the top of the cup, then looked back up at him. “Orlando, about last night…”

He knew she was going to apologize just from the look she gave him. “Don’t worry about it Keira. You did the same for me once,” he said, making sure this time to catch her gaze and hold it. And that was when she remembered.

“Orlando, I’m not leaving while you’re like this. You can’t stay by yourself,” Keira said, sitting beside him on the bed. She gently ran a cool washcloth across his feverish forehead and her touch soothed him.

“But you have to go home. This is the only time you’ve had in months to spend with everyone. I don’t want you to waste it with me,” he said quietly. She looked down as she took his hand in hers, putting her fingers between his. When she looked up again there was a soft smile on her lips.

“It’s not wasted time, Orlando. I love being with you, no matter how well you feel. Don’t worry about me not being able to go back home. Everyone will understand. Being here when you need me is more important,” she said, bringing the back of his hand to kiss it.

He smiled, then closed his tired eyes. “I love you, Keira.”

Until that moment she’d forgotten about the weekend he’d been sick. Truth be told, it was more like she’d repressed the memory, along with all others of him.

Orlando could tell just by the look in her eyes she was thinking about it. He watched her blink a few times and look back into the cup as she cleared her throat to speak. “I’d better get my butt in gear. What time do we have to leave?” She asked, pushing the cup back on the table.

“I have to leave in about half an hour. You have to get back on the couch and relax,” he said, standing up to take his cup to the sink.

“Yeah, right. Relax? Please Orlando. The whole reason I’m out here is because Simon wants us to see more of the press together. Do you know how bad he’d freak if I stayed here?” Keira asked, standing up herself. Her head felt heavy and detached at the same time and a ringing had started in her ears, but there was no way she was staying behind.

“Do you think that maybe once, just once, you can listen to someone else and slow down? You’re sick, Keira. Or are you forgetting that I spent the night either holding your hair back while you threw up or listened to you cough in your sleep. You’re not going anywhere. And I was about to call Simon and tell him that,” Orlando said, leaving her in the kitchen.

“You drive me crazy, do you know that.” Keira stated. She followed him into the living room and saw him dialing a number on his cell phone. She sat on the couch, pulling the blankets up around her chilled but feverish body and watched as he paced the room talking to their manager. The conversation was short and before they disconnected, Simon asked to speak with her. Orlando handed her the phone with a smirk on his face before he went to collect his shoes from his bedroom.

“Hello?” Of course it was then that she went into a coughing fit.

“Go back to bed.” Not hi or how are you… but go back to bed.

“See, normally, I’d be happy to do just that but there’s too many things to do today. So-“

“Keira, I’m not asking if you want to, I’m telling you to. Orlando told me you were up all night sick. I want you to rest. We’re going into the studio in two weeks and I don’t want you to be strained,” Simon told her.

At the mention of the studio, Keira narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, about that. Why wasn’t I ever told?” She asked.

She heard him sigh and a shuffling noise filled the phone line. “Because if I would have told you the day before you left you would’ve never gone. So I just didn’t tell you.”

“You lied to me, you mean.”

“No, I never lied Keira. I just omitted part of the deal. But that’s not what we’re talking about. The issue is you and making sure you stay healthy. I already told Orlando that you are not to leave his place until your temperature goes down. So stay in, watch some really bad daytime TV, and take a nap or two. Take advantage of it now before you’re asking for a day off and you can’t get it.” Simon told her jokingly.

“Yeah thanks. Oh, um… before we totally leave the topic of filming again, would you be so kind as to tell me what it is exactly I have to do with him?” She asked.

“Later… right now go to bed. I’ll call tomorrow and see how you feel. Good-bye Keira.”

“Yeah bye.” She flipped the phone shut, looked at it, then opened it again. She started to wipe off the microphone, but stopped, an evil smile on her lips. Let him get sick, she thought. But if he got sick, then she’d have to take care of him, so going back to her original plan, she rubbed it on her pants, then set it on the table. A few minutes later, Orlando appeared with his jacket in hand,

“I gotta get movin’. If you need anything, and I mean anything, call me and I’ll get it for you. You have to turn the TV on using the little remote not the bigger one. I’ll try to stop back sometime during the day to bring you soup or something. Oh, make sure you use a different glass every time you get a new drink. Old germs, you know. And-“

“I think I got it Dad. I’ll be fine. I’m not a child, you know,” she answered. Keira tried to make it seem like she was annoyed, but truthfully, she was touched. He didn’t have to take care of her this way but he did. And she could tell that as long as she was sick, he didn’t want to leave her alone.

“Sorry. I just want to make sure you have everything you might need,” Orlando explained.

Her eyes softened and she smiled at him. “I know. And I appreciate it. I’m just mad because you have to do everything alone today.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just get better, okay.” He smiled at her from the doorway, then left.

She stared at that door for a while, not knowing how to feel. It was becoming a common reaction when it came to dealing with him, at least for the last few days. Maybe it was time for them to talk

*~*~*~*~*~*~

She sat in the living room of the apartment he owned in Manhattan while the rain continued to fall outside, reading a book she’d picked up earlier in the week, having spent most of the day and early evening on the couch. The radio was on, the low strains of a soft rock station filling the otherwise quiet space. Around her sat a few glasses of water and juice, some wadded up tissues, a new box of Kleenex, a package of cough drops and a few magazines. She hadn’t packed sweats when she’d thrown whatever her scattered mind could find into a suitcase, so instead she sat, underneath a throw blanket, clothed in a pair of Orlando’s. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, wisps of it escaping here and there and as she sniffled she pushed the pair of small framed glasses up a little on her nose. She was halfway through the book, and more than anything she wanted to finish at least the chapter, but her eyelids rebelled against her as they fought to fall closed. As hard as she tried, the effort was useless and in minutes she was sleeping.

~*~*~*~*~

Switching the brown paper bag to his left hand, Orlando used his right to open the door. His back ached from either standing or sitting in uncomfortable chairs throughout the day, and all he wanted to do was drop onto the couch and watch TV for a few hours.

He dropped the bag on the table in the kitchen, noticing she had turned on the stereo, and entered the living room to see how she was feeling. The image of her, breathing with noticeable difficulty from her nose being stuffed, her cheeks flushed from her slight fever, body turned slightly into the back of the couch, made him stop just to stare. Everything she did, no matter what the surroundings or circumstances, intrigued him and all he could do... was stare.

After a minute he crossed the distance between where he stood and where she lay, sitting down gingerly next to her. He reached up, carefully grasping the stems of her glasses with both hands, and slid them off. Gently prying the book from her grasp, he slipped a tissue in between the pages to mark her spot, then laid the book, along with her glasses, on the coffee table in front of them. Orlando rearranged the blankets around her, pulling a thicker quilt over her feverish body and stood over her. Before he turned to walk away, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her sweaty forehead, then forgot about the TV watching. He put the bag in the fridge, turned off the stereo and reached up to switch off the lamp that stood behind the couch Keira lay sleeping on. With one last look at her face, he turned the dial and the room pitched into a peaceful darkness, the only sound being that of the rain that had started to fall outside and the slight wheeze of Keira’s breathing.

~*~*~*~*~


A clap of thunder so loud it shook the windows yanked her out of sleep. Keira sat up, heart pounding beneath her ribcage, and looked around as the lightening flashed outside the window, brightening the living room. She’d never been afraid of thunderstorms before, but tonight she was terrified at the thought of being alone while she was sick in someone else’s environment.

Her eyes sought out the clock on the VCR, the glowing numbers telling her it was 1:37 AM. Worry about herself turned to worry about Orlando. Where the hell is he? Why didn’t he come home? She thought, pushing the blankets back to swing her legs off the couch to the floor. Keira winced and yanked her bare feet back up when they touched the cold wood, but placed them down once again. With another roll of thunder and flash of lightening she moved down the hall towards Orlando’s bedroom.

The door was closed so she twisted the knob and pushed it open. Creeping inside quietly, she tiptoed to the side of his bed, relief washing over her when she saw him sleeping amongst the blankets. She started to turn away when Orlando’s sleep-clouded voice stopped her.

“Keir, are you okay? Do you need anything?”

She froze with her back to him, not knowing what to do. She didn’t want to tell him that she was acting like a little girl and was afraid of the storm, but at the same time she didn’t want to go back out and sleep in the living room alone again. She turned back around to face him, seeing him sitting up in bed. “I uh, I was worried about you. I didn’t hear you come in earlier and I thought you were still working,” she said with a sniffle.

“You were sleeping so I didn’t want to wake you up.” Orlando strained his eyes to look closer at her in the darkened bedroom. “Is something else bothering you?”

With a look of pure innocence that held a hint of embarrassment Keira bit her bottom lip and looked at Orlando. “The storm scared me,” she said quietly.

“Do you want to stay in here?” He asked.

More than anything, she thought, but what she said was, “No, I’ll be okay. I’m acting like a child anyway,” she said, trying hard not to take notice that he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“Do you want me to stay out there again?”

“No. I’ll be fine. I’m sorry I woke you, Orlando. Good night.” She walked out of his room and closed the door behind her, then went back to the couch. His offer to stay in his room played over and over in her head and made her heart ache. Not long ago, she wouldn’t have hesitated to jump into bed next to him and happily stay there until the sun came up. But things were different now, and whether she liked it or not, they would never be as close as they once were.

She lay there staring at the darkened ceiling, her heart and head waging a silent war between the two. While she still loved him and wanted to forgive what he’d done, she knew that if she did, she’d never forgive herself. And that was something she couldn’t live with.

But what was it accomplishing by keeping the distance between them? True it may hurt to let him back in, but in the long run wasn’t it worth it?

Keira sighed and closed her eyes, bringing her hands up to her face. More than anything, she just wanted things to be clear and easy.

[missendicott]

"Trying hard not to take notice that he wasn't wearing a shirt" Nice! I loved it!

[thankful24]

Thanks for the comment Missendicott! I hope you enjoy the next update!



(1 week later, Philadelphia)

“No way am I doing this. No f***ing’ way!” Keira said, letting the sheets of paper fall back to the shiny tabletop. She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring alternately at Simon and Orlando. She leveled her coffee coloured glare at Orlando long enough to say, “You’ve got to be crazy to think I’d be okay with this.”

To his credit, Orlando turned away guiltily, something that she noticed and took a silent satisfaction in. She was angry that he’d agreed to do something like this knowing what had happened between the two of them. But Simon wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Look, I understand that there are circumstances surrounding why the two of you stopped speaking, but right now, you have to get over it. Point blank, the public and press are all over the idea of the two of you together. And this,” he said, lifting the edited script, “is the next step to get them to believe that you two are in love.”

Keira stared down at her lap and Orlando stared at her. He figured she’d be mad, but there was nothing he could do about it. He had as much say in the matter as she did. And while he wasn’t exactly happy about it, he wasn’t unhappy either.

“Keira, we have no choice.” Orlando half-whispered.

She jerked her eyes upward, and he saw the way she tried to hide how she felt. It wasn’t about the fact that they had to act together. It was the simple fact that a scene like this one, about the most intimate thing that could pass between two people, hit a little too close to home for her. It may have cemented their “feelings” to everyone else, but to her, it only caused more pain.

“But why this, Simon? Out of the millions of scenes out there, why this scene?” She questioned. The sound of her voice caused the manager’s eyes to soften and for a second he wondered why the two of them had to go through all that they were. But only for a second.

“Because this was the most romantic thing that we could think of. Practice it. We start shooting in three days.” With little more left to be said, he bid them both good bye and left the hotel room.

As soon as Simon was out the door, Keira lifted the sheets of paper again then dropped them with a grimace of disgust. “This can’t be happening,” she said, pushing them away from her. She stood up and walked to the window, then turned to face him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Lame, yes, but he didn’t know what else to say. And he was sorry.

“Orlando, do you realize what I have to do in this scene?! Basically tell the world that all I do is think about you, and want you, and-“ she stop in mid sentence, realizing what she’d said. Her eyes wide focused on Orlando and found him staring, shocked, at her.

“You what?” He whispered.

“Nothing. Forget I said anything,” she said, grabbing her notebook.

“Forget you said-- Keira! You can’t just say something like that and leave!” He said, reaching out to grab her upper arm.

Her eyes traveled from his hand on her to his eyes. “Why not? You did.” She pulled her arm away and walked out of the living area of the suite. With a slam of the door she disappeared into the bedroom.

Orlando kept his eyes on the door for a minute before following her. He didn’t knock, just twisted the knob and swung the door open. She looked up from where she sat on the bed with questioning eyes as he stood in the doorway. But before she could speak, he did.

“This has gone on long enough. I don’t care if you’re not ready, or you need more time. I’m sick of living like this, Keira. I know what I did was wrong, but you don’t even know why and you continue to punish me for it. God, Keira, don’t you think it killed me not to be near you for all that time?”

“I don’t want to hear it, Orlando! You made the choice, not me! I had no say in it. Just like I have no say in what’s happening now because trust me, if I did, I wouldn’t even be here! I don’t want to hear about your hurt because mine was worse. You used me. You got what you wanted, then left. That’s all the explanation I need,” she spat out.

“Is it really? I know you, Keira. What you think happened isn’t enough for you. You need the truth.”

“You don’t know sh*t about me anymore, Orlando. What you knew ceased to be me the day I woke up and found you gone.” She held back her tears as she spoke because she didn’t want him to see that despite the brave act she was putting on, this was hard.

“That’s not true. And you know it.”

The softness of his voice pained her and her eyes burned from the unshed tears. She swallowed the lump in her throat, wincing at the tightness it left behind and turned away from him.

“Maybe I don’t want to know. Maybe I’d just rather get through the next four months and wash my hands of the whole thing.” She said with her eyes closed.

It wasn’t long before she felt his presence behind her, but she didn’t turn around. His hands found their way to her shoulders and her lower lip trembled at the touch. But still she didn’t cry.

“Maybe you’re lying.”

It took everything in her not to break down at his words. He wasn’t wrong; she was lying. But knowing the truth may have justified the means for him, but for her the pain would still be there.

“And maybe it’s just not worth the hurt for me to know.” She turned around to face him, pushing his hands off her shoulders. “A night that should have meant the world to me has caused me more tears than I could ever tell you about. It wasn’t just the fact that you left, either. What hurt more than anything, beside the fact that I trusted you, was that you never called. Not one phone call in five months. And even though a big part of me still loves you, it’s small enough that eventually I’ll be able to move on and think about it without feeling my heart breaking. But until then, I can’t let myself think about it because I’ll break down… and I don’t want to do that anymore.”

Orlando, desperate to make her understand, cupped her face in his hands gently. “Keira, please let me explain. I swear I never meant—“

She cut him off by removing his hands and holding onto them. “To hurt me? That may be the case. But you did. And I can’t just turn my back on that and forgive you.”

Keira let go of his hands and grabbed her jacket. She didn’t look back as she left the suite. Air, she needed air. Needed to get away from him, even if it as just for an hour or two. Her mind was too clouded and being near him wasn’t helping.

He watched her go, wanting more than anything to follow her, but knowing she needed to be alone.

Orlando picked up the script left lying on the table and read the words he was supposed to say, feeling his heart ache at the meaning. Keira was right.

The papers feel to the floor and he walked away, leaving them where they landed. Even though she wanted no part of it, Keira would say those words, and so would he. They would film it together, shoot a scene that treatments were already drawn up for, and hate every minute of it.

Only no one would know.

~*~*~*~*~

Three days later they sat in the studio on opposite ends of the set. They hadn't spoken unless necessary to each other in the prior 70 or so hours and the tension in the room was more than palpable. She wouldn't look his way, but he would lock his eyes on her for stretches on time, which she could feel.

Keira spun herself in slow circles on her chair, head against the cushioned back of the chair to stare at the ceiling. She was getting antsy and wanted just to shoot the voice over for the scene and get out of there. But there was a small problem with that.

Simon was forty-five minutes late and they couldn't start without him there. Even though Simon was no director, Gore insisted that they had their agents here, and since Simon managed both of them, there was no shooting until he got there.

She was about to get up for another glass of water when the door swung open and Simon stepped in. "Thank God," she mumbled, sitting up straight.

"Sorry I'm late. You guys could've started without me," Simon told them with a smile. It didn't last long as he looked back and forth between the two of them. "Everything okay?"

"Just peachy," Keira replied as she stood. Shoving her hands in the pockets of her hooded sweatshirt she turned to Orlando, speaking willingly to him for the first time in three days. "I hope it's okay that I asked them to turn off the lights. I always record without them on," she said, rubbing her eye underneath the glasses she'd worn.

"It doesn't matter to me. Let's just get this thing recorded."

She nodded and followed him into the soundproof booth, slipping on the right half of a pair of headphones over her ear. With the only light coming from three little candles flickering in the corners, the dimness of the room made it hard for her to read the lines on the page. But she didn't need to see the words. She knew them by heart.

Gore gave them a thumbs up and switched a button, and Keira kept her eyes on the script in front of her. Looking at Orlando would make it harder and the sound of his voice coming through not only the headphones, but from right next to her, was making it tough enough.

He was about finished with his line so she breathed deeply again, keeping her eyes closed as she joined him.

As if she had no control her eyes opened and sought out his as they read their lines. As hard as she tried to avert her gaze she couldn't. And once again she found herself remembering the way she felt that night; the way his fingers traced their way across her lips before he kissed her, the flutter of his eyelashes against her cheek as he whispered in her ear, the rush that went through her as his eyes took in every inch of her. And when she finally couldn't take it anymore she turned her head again, using every ounce of strength she had left in her body not to let the tears that lingered under her lids escape.

The final lines were said and the soundstage drifted into silence as she slid the headphones off, pushing the few stray tendrils of hair out her eyes. From five feet away, Orlando watched her as he let the headphones hang around his neck. The pale light caught the unshed tears she held back and he could feel his own eyes starting to burn at the realization that this entire situation was his fault.

Before anyone else could speak, Keira expelled the deep breath she'd taken in and looked up, a surprising calmness taking over her body. "How was that?" She asked into the microphone.

Simon nodded his head and Gore high-fived him, bust asked for one more take just to be sure, and she smiled almost sadly. Orlando wanted to say something to her but the right words didn't come, so instead he stayed silent as the track was rewound and they started over.

~*~*~*~*~*~
It took them less than two hours to record the track to Simon's liking. Even though two hours isn't that long of a time span, both of them were left emotionally exhausted. But they time they'd gotten back to the hotel, even though it was only a little after two in the afternoon, it felt closer to midnight.

Keira dropped her bag on the table and slid her flip-flops off, leaving them by the door. She fell onto the couch, raising an arm to drape across her eyes and sighed. She knew he was standing close by, waiting for her to say something, but she couldn't. As far as she was concerned, there wasn't anything to say. But Orlando suddenly had all the words in the world... and he planned on using them.

"Keira, no more dodging me, okay. We have to talk."

She removed her arm and stared straight up, seeing Orlando standing over her. She held his eyes a minute and slowly nodded. "Okay," she said quietly. After the draining events of earlier and a few days before she knew they couldn't continue this way forever. So she sat up and waited for him to say what he needed to. She was a bit surprised when he knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his.

"Keira… I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am about what happened. I swear on everything I have that I didn't go to bed with you just to get laid. And I didn't leave because I got it, either. The reason I left… it was never about a hit and run. I loved you then, and even though you may not believe it, I still love you now," he said, his brown eyes burning into her mocha ones.

"So why did you leave?" Her question came out on a whisper and he could see her struggling to make sense of it.

"Because I was petrified of you."

She blinked a few times, not sure she heard him right. He was petrified? Of her?

"Orlando, I don't-"

"Just… listen to me. It took us ten months to get to that point. And I know it was because you weren't ready and I had no problem with that. But when we finally committed ourselves to each other, I started thinking that maybe we still weren't ready. And it made me wonder how much of what happened was because it was what you wanted and not just me."

"But it wasn't-" Her words were shushed by Orlando's fingers pressed gently to her lips.

"Keira, that night… all I could think about was that I loved you so much it hurt. And I know you'll argue with me on it, but you're as close to perfect as I've ever found. You're everything I never knew I always needed in my life. Quite simply put, you hold my heart, Keira.. and you always have."

Orlando paused to let his words sink in and to process what he wanted to say next. "Keira, I left because after that night I knew things would never be the same between us again. What scared me the most was that if somehow things ended badly I'd lose you for good. And I ended up losing you anyway."

By the time he'd finished speaking, her tears flowed like tiny rivers down the side of her soft cheek. And even though she didn't think it was possible, her heart felt like it was shattering all over again. She reached up to brush her fingers across his cheek and he looked up into her eyes as he captured her hand in his. "Keira… never, for one second, did I want to hurt you. And maybe I should have called, or woken you up and explained things to you, but I just… for some reason I couldn't. And when I thought about you waking up and regretting the whole thing ever happening… I didn't know what else to do."

She said nothing simply because there was nothing to say. So instead she leaned towards him, bringing her lips to his ear to whisper, "I never stopped loving you either."

His arms found their way around her waist as she collapsed against him, heat passing from her body to his. Orlando turned his face into her neck, breathing in the smell of feminine sweetness only she possessed. Through the material of their shirts, he could feel her heart beating just as fast as his and he closed his eyes not wanting to let go of her.

And Keira?

She felt exactly the same.

~*~*~*~*~

[xstepheezy]

aww wow that was amaazing! (=

[Lola]

Awwww so sweet!!.. I loved it ;D

[missendicott]

YES!!!!!!! That was so sweet and so wonderful!!!!

[designerdenimx3]

i loved it! that was brilliant!