Post by Rainbow on Sept 14, 2004 16:53:40 GMT -5
Spirit of a Seahorse
by Horizon
by Horizon
Beta reader: Renee
Rating: PG13
Genre: Farcical comedy
Pairing: Orli/Keira
Synopsis: Jamie and Kate revert to the black arts in order to wreak a little revenge on their love stuck exes; Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. But as always when messing with mystical forces things don’t always turn out as intended.
Dedication: The BnK board.
Chapter One
“Are you sure about this, Jamie?” Kate asked, a look of extreme apprehension on her face and a hint of fear in her voice as she glanced around the room. It was pitch black but for a few candles on the floor next to an eerie wiccan floor design. “I mean this whole messing with mystical forces thing. Much as I would love to believe it is the imagination of Charmed and Buffy writers, I knew this kid in high school. Real scary character she was and this one time…”
“Kate sit down,” Jamie interrupted, sighing impatiently at her monotonous babble. “Look we agreed on this, okay? We did the research and it’s fool proof, okay?” He sat down on the floor cross-legged opposite Kate, the black symbol between them. It was an ornately decorated pentagram in design and each point of the star had a candle placed upon it; the only light emitted in the musty room. Kate glanced from the symbol to the candles to the stinky herbs Jamie was waving around before focusing on his face.
“Do you even have a clue what you’re doing?” She asked, accusingly. “I mean what if you turn them into toads or…” she paused and the colour drained from her face. “What if you turn us into toads.”<br>
“Kate!” Jamie groaned in frustration, “for that kind of thing you need a pointy hat, a magic wand and a hairy wart and even then it has to be digitally enhance to work.” The frown of confusion that Kate gave him made him roll his eyes in despair. “We’re just messing with a bit of physiological mysticism. I have no idea how it works, or even if it is going to work but we agreed on this remember?” His thick Irish accent would have made Kate chuckle but she was too busy freaking out to notice it.
“You know maybe this whole revenge thing is a bit shallow,” she suggested. “We should just accept that they’re together and be happy for them, right?” The sceptical look upon Jamie’s face made her groan at her own denial. Of course they couldn’t just accept it and they’d never be able to forget. It was unacceptable and their so called other halves had handled the whole thing in the most selfish and disregarding manner possible. It was only fair that she and Jamie had a bit of revenge and if that meant turning them into toads then so be it.
“Okay,” she sighed, “what do you want me to do?”<br>
“Hold this,” Jamie smiled, reassuringly as he handed her a piece of paper with a picture of a seahorse on it.
“Oh right we’re turning them into seahorses not toads,” Kate said, studying the picture. “Well it’s original, I guess.”<br>
“Kate…” Jamie began, in his irritable voice. How Orlando had lived with this woman for the past 3 years he would never know but right now that wasn’t the issue. They were allies in this, they were both the injured parties and that united them.
“Okay okay, I’m on board. What now?” Kate asked, running a hand through the tailing hair of her ponytail out of sheer habit.
“Do you have a lock of his hair?” Jamie asked, taking out a few strands of brown hair from a packet and placing them on a glass dish in the centre of the pentagram.
“Yup,” Kate replied proudly, taking out a similar packet of her own. “It cost me $1000 on ebay, can you believe it? Jamie brought a hand to his forehead in despair and looked on the verge of tears.
“You bought a lock of Orlando’s hair on ebay?” He repeated, slowly and rationally as if trying to make it sound that it was a normal thing and he was not in the slightest shocked.
“Yeah yeah, some woman claiming to be his hairdresser was selling a whole bunch of it. Don’t worry I had some dude check it out in LA, he ran some DNA tests, you know the deal. But don’t worry this is the genuine article, $1000 courtesy of ebay. Isn’t modern technology brilliant?”<br>
“Put it in the dish,” Jamie instructed, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. “So basically how this works is we put three things into the dish which are used to construct an unresolved story that the people from which the hair came have to resolve.”<br>
“And how is this revenge again?” Kate asked.
“A week of physiological hell in the Caribbean. I think it’s just, don’t you?” Kate grinned at the malicious smile upon his face, she new it was all just an act really. Inside he was as destroyed and fractured as she was but they had found, in each other, a vengeful companionship that was proving to be a comforting distraction. That he would wish any harm on Keira was unimaginable and the bitter façade was just to cover the tears.
“Sounds good to me,” Kate smiled. “One thing though, what if they don’t resolve it? Can we break it all off before we put them in mental institutes?” She ran her fingers across the paper she still held in fidgety exhilaration at what they were about to do.
“Yeah. I think so. I’m not sure. Keira’s smart as hell though, she’ll figure it out.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a lump of sodden earth he had ripped from the ground and a bottle of Absinthe. “Lets see what kind of a story they can re-enact with this, shall we?” He chuckled, dropping the sod into the dish and preceding to pour absinth over the hair and grass mixture. “Screw up the picture and put it in there,” he pointed to assist his verbal direction and when Kate did as she was told he proceeded to pour the green liquid over the paper too.
“Give me that,” Kate groaned as Jamie brought the bottle to his mouth. She took a swig for herself, to calm the nerves, before placing it behind her. “Right, are we ready then?” she asked eagerly.
“You remember the words?” Jamie asked, and when he received a nod of confirmation he got out a lighter from his pocket and watched as the contents of the dish went up in flame, fuelled by the alcohol. He immediately reached around the flames for Kate’s hands that were already raised to meet his and creating a circle of arms they began their incantation in unison.
“Oh matris of imagination, partum nos iam a fabula fabricated in mens illorum duos diligo. Permissum lemma non sileo insquequo totus est diluo. Per responsal of mare, terra quod vir, sic partum nos is somnium.”
When they had finished they kept their eyes tightly closed, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did it was Jamie that cautiously pried open an eye and seeing that indeed nothing had happened, immediately let his arms drop and Kate opened her eyes.
“Damn it!” He exclaimed, aggravated beyond words.
“What was supposed to happen?” Kate asked, gazing at the now smouldering remnants in the dish before her and glancing around the smoky room. Jamie got up and began to pace, kicking the dish over in fury.
I just like roando better. HAHAHAHA KATE TURNED INTO A TOED! niice.
no malicious intent or disrespect to any other fab writers here... 
