(my future short fic sec) Songfic Entitled Broken

[PunkRockPrincess]

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the song Broken. This is primarily for the use of this song fic. Nor do I own Keira Knightley or Natalie Portman.I’m just a fan of these two talented actresses. So if femslash fiction offends you, or death scenes do, then don’t read this. Also this fic contains character deaths as well. If you have a problem, I suggest you NOT to read this.


Author’s Note: In order to get a better feel of this story, one should listen to the song it’s self. I wrote in in a way that Both Keira and Natalie are singing this song. Think of it as a music video.

(Natalie’s POV)

I can’t believe you’re gone. My one and only love of my life has departed from this world in a flash of an eye. The very flame of life inside of me has flickered away. The only thing in this harsh and unforgiving world, that gave me a reason to live, the only thing of beauty that made me feel so wonderful inside was you. You gave me my life back when the harsh and bitter business of Hollywood took it away. For those few years I was my old self again. And now your gone.

Natalie;
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I want to hold you high and steal your pain away

I sit here as a trace my fingers over the picture that was taken from your brother Caleb, the picture from our trip to your home in Teddington England. Do you remember that day? It was Christmas eve and we were staying at your apartment(flat) and spending the holidays together. You gave me the diamond ring that I wore each and every single day. I was a happier person then, a lot happier than I was right now.


Natalie;
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I want to hold you high and steal your pain

I wonder if you are watching me right now, a lonely spirit drifting by my side. If you are, I don’t want you to see me like this. Sad, broken inside, and completely lifeless. Please Keira…please don’t look at me.

Natalie & Keira

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when your gone away

Natalie; You’ve gone away, you don’t feel me here anymore.

(Keira’s POV)

I sit here with tears in my eyes as I watch you punish your self over my death my love. Natalie please, don’t do this to your self, It wasn’t your fault. I was the one who had to much to drink. I was the one who insisted on driving. You being the loving and caring person you are tried to stop me yet all I did was push you away. Now the only thing I can do is drift by your side wanting to touch you. I’m the reason for your sadness, I’m the reason for your pain. Please forgive me.

Keira;
The worst is over now
And we can breathe again
I want to hold you high and steal my pain away.

I want to touch you so badly Natalie my love. I want to touch you and make all your sadness go away. I want to make you feel like that young vibrant woman that you once were. I want to make you feel like the woman that once made the sun shined brighter with just a silly smile. Now right before my eyes I see you transforming into this sad and lonesome person. One without love, one with out hope in this world. And it’s my fault, It’s my fault you became this way. The Natalie I once knew has been replaced by an empty shadow…I’m so sorry….

Keira;
There’s so much love to learn
And no one left to fight
I want to hold you high and steal your pain’<br>
Natalie & Keira;
Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough

Heaven doesn’t exist Natalie, there is no heaven without you. You are the reason that angels sing and you are the reason for making my life complete. You are the one that made my circle whole, with out you I am nothing more than a ghost within these hollow walls. I wish you can hear me tell you how much you mean to me. I would rather be a ghost wandering by your side for the rest of eternity than enter heaven with out you.

Natalie & Keira;
Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

“Hey sweetie” I whisper gently as I stand near your head stone, my fingers graze over the granite and the carving of your name on the monument. I can’t believe that your body is underneath the ground, you must be so cold down their all alone, in stead of being here with me, your now gone away. I promised my self I wouldn’t cry. So much for that promise. But I know that you are in a better place now. I know that you can now rest in peace and are not bound to this world any more.

I place a bouquet of roses near your grave. As soon as my tears fell from my eyes they turn to ice from the cold weather. It’s funny, when you were around everything seem much warmer and more inviting. That time has passed now, there is no more happiness in this world for me. But I will continue to live, cause that was what I promised. And I never broke a promise to you before, and I won’t break one now. You’re an amazing woman Keira, and I will never be alone with you in my heart.

Natalie & Keira
Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough

Natalie my darling, I will never be departed from you. I will always be a part of you. You have kept my soul alive because of your love. And for that I am forever greatful to you Natalie. In the short life that I have lived, I accomplished more in the 19 years that I have been alive because of you. Because of you I lived more years than anyone else. Our relationship will never be over and I will always be with you. You have made me a better woman, you have made me a better person. You brought in a brand ray of sun shine of my life. The deepest regret for me is not saying “I love you” enough. I just want to hold you Natalie, I want to be with you so badly, all the tears I cry and all the pain that I hold in my heart won’t help as I watch you continue to see your life go down hill. But you made a promise to me Nat, you promised me you would live. You promised that you will be happy. I want you to be happy Natalie, even if it means letting me go. I know we will one day be together again my love, and you know that I will always be watching over you but you must live, for me. Remember Nat, good memories can save your life.

Natalie & Keira
Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

As I walk back home I smile to my self and look up at the bright afternoon sky that you now reside in. I smile because I have a new found hope in my heart and new strength that you have given me now. I think you must of reached me some how, I heard your words in the distance, I wanted it all to end, I wanted the pain to stop, and I wanted to feel the release of this life. But I heard you Keira, your words saved me. What seemed impossible now doesn’t seem so harsh. It will take some time and I know I will have a long road ahead, but with the strength you have given me, nothing seems hard or impossible.

I remember once you told me that the hardest thing to do in this world is to live in in. And that I had to live not for myself but for the people that I love. And that I promise to you. Cause like you told me. Good memories can save your life.

Natalie & Keira.

You're gone away; You don't feel me here anymore.

[Loreley]

Oh my, I so love "Broken". It's one of my all time favourites. I love Amy Lee and I love Seether and this song is just so very beautiful. Did I mention that I already love you? I think I did, but I'm not quite sure...
This is an interesting idea, wow. And the realization of the idea is even more wow, so... WOW! I'm impressed

[PunkRockPrincess]

This really isn't about Keira. It's about her character from BILB. I really didn't want to make a new thread about it so I decided to put it in an already existing one. Enjoy . Also seeing as its pretty big, I broke it up into two parts.

Disclaimer: I don’t own nuttin so you can’t sue me

Synopsis: It’s been 5 years since Juliette Paxton has seen her parents in west London. And she isn’t the same person she was when she left. A lot can change in 5 years while living in LA.

Juliette’s POV.

You know what’s worst about sitting and waiting for your plane at the air port? Sitting and waiting for a delayed plane at the air port. I guess after years of working at a big time Law Firm like Wolfram & Hart, you develop a big impatience for flaws and delays. I was a different person than I was before I came to LA. 5 years ago if you asked me if I were to ever become a lawyer and give up soccer…I mean Football, I would of laughed in your face and called you funny. 5 years definitely changes a person. I wonder how all my friends and family back at Hownslow West London would react to the new “Juliette Paxton”<br>
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known

I must of heard this song over and over again on my iPod. I have to say it’s fitting the mood I am currently in right now. To be honest with you, I’m not complaining that there is a delay. I’m not complaining. The longer the wait, the more anticipation I don’t have to deal with. Part of me is hoping that my plane some how crashed, just so I don’t have to deal with seeing my old friends and family again. You might ask why I decide to see them, frankly it’s just convenient. I’m not going “home” for them. I’m just visiting what I left behind. West London hasn’t been home for a long time now. I even forgot the name of the football team I use to play on. I think it was the Halo Harriers or some sh*t like that. Hell if I remember.

Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

The plane ride back to west London was a long one I gotta admit. But I’m use to them by now. Going over seas to visit clientels and trying to pitch a sale on why our law firm is better than everyone else. In this business you gotta do everything you need to do to sell your pitch. As for me, it’s much harder. Being one of the few women layers that are actually IN my law firm, I have to deal with male chauvinistic ass holes who spend more time looking at ass than doing actual work. f**king Gorden Gekko wannabes who have probably seen Wallstreet one to many times. But it doesn’t matter to me. I know I am good at my job, I know I’m better than everyone of those cock suckers over there. I wake my ass up 6 am, and I get in WAY before 8 am, before these half rate dime a dozzen lawyers even hit their Italian leather chairs, I’m sitting in my office, preparing my speech for my cases. Yeah I’m that damn good.

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

People say I changed, that I became a cast iorn heartless bitch who cares about the she makes and the job she does. I’m not here to prove them that they are wrong. I’m here to show them that they are right. That yeah I do make a lot of money, and yeah I am a heartless bitch. But hey can you blame me? I’m one of Wolfram & Hart’s top lawyers. I’m only 22 years old and I drive a f**king farari to work every single god damn day. I have a ridiculous house in the hamptons with all the works, jaquzi, heated pool, every toy that I can possible imagine. Xbox, ps2, game cube, big screen TV’s, f**k that, I got 4 LCD last week installed in one of the many bathrooms I have. I’m a millionaire, and I’m not afraid to say it. I am the mother f**king future and I’m proud of it. People say that money is the root of all evil doesn’t have any. They say that money doesn’t bring happiness? Look at the smile of my face. Ear to f**king ear you god preaching, bible hugging, little basketball team rejects. So why the f**k am I coming back to a sh*t hole like Hownslow West London? You got me.

Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

[PunkRockPrincess]

It’s weird seeing my old home town again. It seems so much smaller and more…pitiful since the last time I have seen it. I guess living in LA for 5 years, definitely changes your prospective on your old life. I can’t help but feeling disgust at this small suburban one horse town. But it a way, I can’t help feel the thousands of memories that have bombarded my mind. Like eating Ice cream with the rest of my team mates on those hot summer days, hanging out with Joe. God Joe, I wonder if he would remember me. I wonder if he would recogonize me now. I changed my appearance completely. I grew my hair long, I died it dark brown, wearing Armani suits and expensive clothings. My closet is full of this now. Long way from the kakahi and Jersey wearing girl I use to be huh? In some odd way I miss those days.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

The streets look so different now. I guess I’m looking at it through a “city girl’s point of new now. The park that I use to play soccer in, the mall that me and Jess use to hang out, it all looks so different. Smaller, and less efficient to some one of my taste. In a way this sickens me. The young carefree 17 year old that I left behind must be alive in me some where. Cause I actually have a small urge to pick up a soccer ball again and play the game, but I tell my self that I’m just resorting back to my “ignorant youthful” days and that I have to grow up. I just wish I was that young girl again.

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

I walk past a young lady walking with her son. That young lady looks awfully familiar, but I really can’t put my finger on it. She looks at me as well. Tell you the truth, I’m starting to get a little pissed. I hate it when people who don’t know me look at me. Yeah I’m hot, I f**king know it, but can’t you take your eye balls some where else. I was about to tell her off until she called my name.

“Jules?..Jules is that you?”

Seeing as that she knew who I am, I decided to cut her a small break. I still wanna know who the hell this bitch is.

“Jules, Juliette Paxton oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you”

I look at her with my eyebrow raised and a confused look on my face. Who the hell is this woman and where have I seen her before?

“Do I know you?” That came out a bit more rude than I intend but whatever, I don’t give a f**k. However this young Indian woman looks a little taken back. As if I’m suppose to be nice to her or something like that.

“Jules…It’s me. Jess….Jesminder Bhamra”<br>
“Jess…oh Jess.” Now I remember. Took me a while though.

“Yeah..I can’t believe you didn’t remember earler.”

God things never change. Jess is still the same girl who wore her heart on her sleeve and never took off. In some ways it’s cute. And maybe I could of reacted a different way than I intended, but whatever…screw it.
“Jess It’s been five years, give me a break. You don’t expect me to remember every mediocre friendship do you?”

The look on her face did bother me. It was almost as if my heart was going to be ripped out. Why? Why am I letting this bother me? I guess the old “Jules” is still alive some where.

“..I wouldn’t exactly call our friendship mediocre…”

“Listen I gotta get goin….but It was good seeing you again.”

I lied. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Cause now the guilt is killing me. Usually a trip back home would be a good thing. Hang out with old friends, and remenice of old times. Not for me, this was just one big guilt trip. One big f**king guilt trip.

I’m really starting to hate the person I have become.

Read between the lines
What's Messed up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I can’t believe I almost passed the house I grew up in. It hasn’t changed not one bit. I can still remember every little detail about this house. The backyard where I use to practice football, the picnic area where my mum and dad use to eat during the summer. I can still smell the fresh paint. I walk up to the front door and I insert the old house key that I have kept for 5 years.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

The interior hasn’t changed at all. Pictures of me and my entire family still hang on the wall. My old football team jersey still remains un touched in it’s glass case. I guess my parents really treasured what I did. As I traveled up the stairs into my old room, it was almost as if I was going into a different persons bed room. I don’t even remember half the stuff that is in this room. I look at the pictures on the wall, and the memories now shoot up at my heart like heroin.

For the first in 5 years of my life, I felt sorry for my self. I felt sorry for the person that I have become. I felt sorry for all the friends that I left behind, I felt sorry for all the people that I hurt. I have become everything that hated.

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone.

And I cry. I haven’t cried in a long time. I didn’t cry when Joe picked Jess over me, I didn’t even cry when we lost that big football match in Germany. I didn’t even cry when my grandmother died. But the memories I left behind were to much. To much pain that I held inside me and to much anguish that I didn’t let out started to rain like hail.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

I try to control my self, but the tears just keep coming. No matter how hard I try, the just flow down faster and faster. I curl up to the bed and I continue to sob. I must of cried my self to sleep that night. In the same room full of old broken memories. Surrounded by pictures of the past.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry” I hear my self say over and over again. And I really am. I’m sorry for the person I have become, please forgive me.

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

[icecream]

aww, both stories were so sad, but really good.

[PunkRockPrincess]

icecream said:

aww, both stories were so sad, but really good.

well actually it was just one story. But it was so big i broke it up into two posts.

[icecream]

PunkRockPrincess said:

well actually it was just one story. But it was so big i broke it up into two posts.

lol! no i meant both stories, the one with keira and keira and then the one with keira going home... loved them both ;D

[PunkRockPrincess]

icecream said:

lol! no i meant both stories, the one with keira and keira and then the one with keira going home... loved them both ;D

why thank you . But I only wrote one story with Keira so far. This one isn't about Keira.

[Reens]

Hey punkrockprincess,

I had a fun read with your fics. Obviously you have good taste coz you like GreenDay!

[PunkRockPrincess]

Serena said:

Hey punkrockprincess,

I had a fun read with your fics. Obviously you have good taste coz you like GreenDay!

thanks. I'm glad you like em. I have another fic that is in the "Out of the way" forum or whatever you call it. If you have a chance check it out. And yeah greenday does rock . See you around. and once again thanks for the reply.