Post by Reens on Dec 31, 2005 5:17:38 GMT -5
* Moved from BnK archives.
Challenge words: Orlando, Brad, Troy, Slash and Peace
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Bana/Bloom
A/N: Completely nonsensical drabble set at the Cannes Film Festival and involving Orlando, Eric, Brad and Jen getting stuck in a broom closet with the press swarming around outside.
Don’t ever stand between Brad and his broom closet!
By Hari T
“Gah! Eric, man. What are you doing? Someone will see,” Orlando yelped as he found himself being dragged by the collar of his rather gorgeous, if he did say so himself, Armani jacket, into a musty dark broom closet.
“You’re f**king insane, this place is swarming with press,” he hissed, slamming the door closed behind him and leaning back against it as his eyes wildly explored the confinement. When he had become accustomed to the dim light he glared at Eric who had a cheeky grin spread across his face and was backed against the other side of the closet. It was a small, claustrophobic area, with buckets and brooms cluttered in one corner and barely enough space to move around. A small window situated meters above them gave the room its dim lighting but it was barely enough to see by.
“Seriously man,” Orlando began, “they’re gonna notice us missing. We’ve gotta get back out there.”<br>
“Not for five minutes they’re not,” Eric said, his voice husky as he pulled his companion away from the door and towards his body.
“Five minutes,” Orlando questioned, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
“Okay maybe ten.”<br>
“Is that right?”
Orlando captured his partner’s lower lip with his own, his answer escaping as a low groan. The door opened, startling them both as two more bodies squished themselves into the tight space.
“Gah! Brad, this has got to be your most stupid id… Hello…” A young woman peered through the darkness at the two figures already in the closet, before laughing aloud. Brad clamped a hand over her mouth and hissed for her to be quite.
“Well, well,” he commented, “and what exactly are you two doing here.” He didn’t need an answer but decided this was too good an opportunity to miss in embarrassing his co-stars.
“We… er…” Eric began.
“…were looking for a broom,” Orlando interjected. “To…er… clean stuff.” At this they all laughed and immediately wished they hadn’t at the sound of voices outside.
“So what are you doing here?” Orlando asked, naively.
“Oh we’re just here to have sex,” Brad informed, receiving a feeble thump from Jen at his bluntness. More voices were heard outside and they held their breath in anticipation. Orlando had his back pressed tightly against Eric at the back of the closet, Jen right in front of him and Brad in front of her. They were all staring at the door, listening intently. The peace was broken when someone tried to open the door but Brad held the handle firmly and after some failed attempts the person gave up and wandered off.
“Okay coast’s clear,” he whispered. “You guys can get out now.”<br>
“What!” Eric exclaimed. “We were here first you can leave. Go find your own damn broom closet.” Brad made a growling noise and Orlando and Jen glanced nervously at each other.
Meanwhile:
“Hello and welcome to Cannes Film Festival. I’m Greta Bavaria and I’m here with Diana Kruger who plays Helen of Troy.” The reporter smiled her plastic smile as she turned her attention from the cameraman to Diana. “So tell me, because we’re all dying to know, what’s it like playing the lover of Orlando Bloom?”<br>
Diana chuckled and began an in depth discussion of all her co-stars annoying little habits as well as his to die for kissing abilities. She was so enwrapped in the topic that she didn’t notice him creep up behind her until Eric coughed loudly to get her attention. The reporter was immediately distracted by the sudden appearance of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and ignored the others altogether.
“Geez, what happened to you?” Diana commented, motioning to the slash under Eric’s eye. “Did Orli win another round in the broom closet?” Orlando burst out laughing and the reporter and both of her interviewees turned to stare at him, a look of pity on their faces. He nodded curtly in apology before turning to Diana.
“Actually Brad won it,” he informed. She glanced from Eric to Orlando and then over at Brad who had gone back to talking to the reporter.
“Yeah…” he continued. “Seriously you don’t wanna stand between Brad and his broom closet! It’s a dangerous position to be in, right Bana?” He received a grunt of agreement as Diana stared at them in bewilderment.
“Rose… hey wait up,” she called, making a quick escape and leaving her very odd co-stars to watch her retreat.
“So what do you say we go find a broom closet of our own?” Orlando suggested. “Or are you not in the mood anymore?” He chuckled at the expression on his co-stars face and casually wrapped an arm around his waist, receiving an arm, equally subtly, draped around his neck for his efforts, as they turned and headed back into the building.
Challenge words: Orlando, Brad, Troy, Slash and Peace
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Bana/Bloom
A/N: Completely nonsensical drabble set at the Cannes Film Festival and involving Orlando, Eric, Brad and Jen getting stuck in a broom closet with the press swarming around outside.
Don’t ever stand between Brad and his broom closet!
By Hari T
“Gah! Eric, man. What are you doing? Someone will see,” Orlando yelped as he found himself being dragged by the collar of his rather gorgeous, if he did say so himself, Armani jacket, into a musty dark broom closet.
“You’re f**king insane, this place is swarming with press,” he hissed, slamming the door closed behind him and leaning back against it as his eyes wildly explored the confinement. When he had become accustomed to the dim light he glared at Eric who had a cheeky grin spread across his face and was backed against the other side of the closet. It was a small, claustrophobic area, with buckets and brooms cluttered in one corner and barely enough space to move around. A small window situated meters above them gave the room its dim lighting but it was barely enough to see by.
“Seriously man,” Orlando began, “they’re gonna notice us missing. We’ve gotta get back out there.”<br>
“Not for five minutes they’re not,” Eric said, his voice husky as he pulled his companion away from the door and towards his body.
“Five minutes,” Orlando questioned, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
“Okay maybe ten.”<br>
“Is that right?”
Orlando captured his partner’s lower lip with his own, his answer escaping as a low groan. The door opened, startling them both as two more bodies squished themselves into the tight space.
“Gah! Brad, this has got to be your most stupid id… Hello…” A young woman peered through the darkness at the two figures already in the closet, before laughing aloud. Brad clamped a hand over her mouth and hissed for her to be quite.
“Well, well,” he commented, “and what exactly are you two doing here.” He didn’t need an answer but decided this was too good an opportunity to miss in embarrassing his co-stars.
“We… er…” Eric began.
“…were looking for a broom,” Orlando interjected. “To…er… clean stuff.” At this they all laughed and immediately wished they hadn’t at the sound of voices outside.
“So what are you doing here?” Orlando asked, naively.
“Oh we’re just here to have sex,” Brad informed, receiving a feeble thump from Jen at his bluntness. More voices were heard outside and they held their breath in anticipation. Orlando had his back pressed tightly against Eric at the back of the closet, Jen right in front of him and Brad in front of her. They were all staring at the door, listening intently. The peace was broken when someone tried to open the door but Brad held the handle firmly and after some failed attempts the person gave up and wandered off.
“Okay coast’s clear,” he whispered. “You guys can get out now.”<br>
“What!” Eric exclaimed. “We were here first you can leave. Go find your own damn broom closet.” Brad made a growling noise and Orlando and Jen glanced nervously at each other.
Meanwhile:
“Hello and welcome to Cannes Film Festival. I’m Greta Bavaria and I’m here with Diana Kruger who plays Helen of Troy.” The reporter smiled her plastic smile as she turned her attention from the cameraman to Diana. “So tell me, because we’re all dying to know, what’s it like playing the lover of Orlando Bloom?”<br>
Diana chuckled and began an in depth discussion of all her co-stars annoying little habits as well as his to die for kissing abilities. She was so enwrapped in the topic that she didn’t notice him creep up behind her until Eric coughed loudly to get her attention. The reporter was immediately distracted by the sudden appearance of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and ignored the others altogether.
“Geez, what happened to you?” Diana commented, motioning to the slash under Eric’s eye. “Did Orli win another round in the broom closet?” Orlando burst out laughing and the reporter and both of her interviewees turned to stare at him, a look of pity on their faces. He nodded curtly in apology before turning to Diana.
“Actually Brad won it,” he informed. She glanced from Eric to Orlando and then over at Brad who had gone back to talking to the reporter.
“Yeah…” he continued. “Seriously you don’t wanna stand between Brad and his broom closet! It’s a dangerous position to be in, right Bana?” He received a grunt of agreement as Diana stared at them in bewilderment.
“Rose… hey wait up,” she called, making a quick escape and leaving her very odd co-stars to watch her retreat.
“So what do you say we go find a broom closet of our own?” Orlando suggested. “Or are you not in the mood anymore?” He chuckled at the expression on his co-stars face and casually wrapped an arm around his waist, receiving an arm, equally subtly, draped around his neck for his efforts, as they turned and headed back into the building.