Post by daydreamer on Jun 5, 2007 17:52:17 GMT -5
Author's Note - So, as I am attempting to get on with my life, I keep having this plot bunny hop around in my head. So, basically I had to hammer this out so that the plot bunny would go away. So, no fancy title, no fancy plot, just Orlando realizing his love for Keira (because we all know it takes guys a long time to realize his feelings for a girl 
)
Perfumania
“What do you get a girl that you just started dating?” Orlando Bloom wandered into Keira’s trailer, flopping down on her sofa.
Keira swiveled around in chair, closing her laptop. “Sorry, I haven’t had experience in this field.” She smirked as Orlando listlessly flipped her off.
“For future reference, I must remember not to start dating a girl right around her birthday. I don’t even know what she likes!” Orlando whined, propping himself up on the arm of the sofa.
Keira pursed her lips. “Hmm, that’s true. Why don’t you get her jewelry?”
“But that means I’m serious about her. I don’t know if I am.” Orlando said, kicking off his shoes and crossing his arms.
Keira sighed, “What about a book?”
Orlando shook his head, “She doesn’t have time to read. Kate is just as busy as us because she is shooting Blue Crush.”
“What about a purse?” Keira said, already guessing Orlando’s answer.
“She already has a ton. She collects them.” Orlando sighed, “Who the hell does that?”
“Every single girl?” Keira cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrow. Orlando glared at her.
“You aren’t helping you know.” He stated in a matter of fact tone.
Keira’s mouth dropped open. “Bollocks! You just shot down every one of my ideas. I want you to come up with a good idea.”
Orlando pouted, looking very much like a 2 year old. “What about…a photo frame with a picture of us in it?”
“Awww!” Keira said, “That’s a good idea. Sweet but not too mushy.”
Orlando hit head on the back of the sofa. “Too bad we don’t have any pictures together.”
Keira snorted and then grinned, “I have an idea! Let me photoshop one for you.”
Orlando stared at her, “Are you serious? I told you! I don’t need your idea’s.”
“That’s not what you said when you meandered in here, breaking my peace and quiet.” Keira said, sticking her tongue out at him.
Orlando sighed, closing his eyes. “I thought you could help me since you are a girl. So far, you are failing miserably.”
“Oh I have an idea!” Keira said, “What about perfume?” She waited for Orlando’s answer positive that he wouldn’t say no. After all, it was the only thing they hadn’t mentioned.
“Hmmm…” Orlando trailed off, “That’s not a bad idea! I knew you were useful for something!”
Keira rolled her eyes. “You just said that I was useless.” She pointed out, as Orlando quickly stuffed his feet back into his shoes.
“Come on.” He said, pulling her up and dragging her out of the trailer. “We have some shopping to do.”
**********
Keira sighed, sitting back in the leather chair. After 4 hours of searching for perfume…they were still searching. She was ready to pull out her hair extensions and wrap them around Orlando’s neck.
This was probably the craziest thing Orlando had made her do so far. They had actually taken a helicopter from the Bahamas to mainland Florida and were now avidly searching for the perfect bottle for his beloved.
Keira rolled her eyes as Orlando walked down the line of salesgirls, smelling their wrists and necks. She herself had about 15 different perfumes on in different patches of her skin, which had started to give her a headache. After the perfumes all started blending together on her, Orlando called over 5 different salesgirls and pulled perform on their wrists and necks.
“Could I get some rubbing alcohol?” Keira called out, positive that she was going to pass out from perfume poisoning. She was handed the rubbing alcohol as the other giggling salesgirls came over to use some.
“Nope. None of them. Bring out your next batch of perfume!” Orlando called out to the saleswoman behind the counter. He fell over onto Keira’s lap groaning. “This is a nightmare!”
“Orlando Bloom.” Keira growled, scrubbing her skin red. “If I have to put on an extra layer of makeup and spent another hour in the makeup room tomorrow covering up these rashes, I’m going to kill you and you won’t have to worry about buying anything for your poppet.”
Orlando gave her his special puppy dog eyes. The salesgirls giggled louder, and even Keira had to admit that her heart gave a little flutter. “You know I love you for doing this right? Why don’t you get a perfume too? It’s the least I can do.”
Keira smiled, “That’s sweet, but it’s okay, I’m good with perfume right now.” And after today, for the rest of my life.
“No, I insist. What perfume do you usually wear?” Orlando asked, standing up so he wasn’t crushing Keira anymore.
“Burberry’s Tender Touch.” Keira said, as the saleswoman suddenly materialized out with the perfume. Keira giggled, knowing that the saleswomen were ready for them to leave. There was a cloud of perfume surrounding the counter.
Orlando opened the cap, squirting some onto Keira’s neck. He leaned over to smell as the salesgirls all swooned, wishing that they were in Keira’s shoes.
“Hey! That tickles!” Keira laughed, pushing Orlando away from her neck. He was dangerously close to her cleavage, or lack of. It had a sweet smell of Jasmine and an underlying musk. Orlando immediately recognized the perfume as Keira’s scent.
“Perfect!” Orlando beamed, straightening up. Everyone gave a sigh of relief. “I want two of them please, and gift wrap both of them.”
Keira hopped off the stool. “She is going to love it. I wear it all the time.”
Orlando smirked, “And here I thought it was your natural body odor.”
Keira hit him on the shoulder as Orlando chuckled. “When are you going to give it to her?”
“I’m actually going home this weekend. I don’t shoot for four days, so I think I’ll surprise Kate for her birthday and spend some time with her.” Orlando said, helping her up in the helicopter.
As the helicopter whizzed back to the island, Orlando had no idea what problems the perfume was going to create.
**********
Orlando woke up to a bright and cheery morning, typical of most LA mornings. He groggily pushed himself up when suddenly he suddenly smelled jasmines.
Keira? His sleepy mind processes, as he looked around his girlfriend’s room. Why would Keira be here?
“Good morning sweetie!” Kate chirped, coming into the bedroom. “Thank you so much for the perfume. I absolutely love it!”
Orlando sat up, fully awake now. “Oh! I just thought…” He trailed off as Kate gave him a curious look. “Never mind, I’m glad you like it.”
As Orlando pulled Kate down for a kiss, he couldn’t help but feel like it was Keira that he was kissing. It’s only the perfume.
**********
“Keira, isn’t this a beautiful dog?” Orlando said, crouching down to pet the black lab.
“Did you just call me Keira?” Kate asked, putting her hands on her hips.
“Uh…” f**k Orlando didn’t even realize the slip of his tongue until now. “You see…”
“This is the second time you have called me Keira.” Kate screeched, close to hitting her boyfriend. “It’s not exactly a good sign when you call your girlfriend by a different girl’s name, especially when you go around kissing that said girl.”
“Kate, I have to kiss her, its part of the movie.” Orlando said, taking his girlfriend into his arms. His mind was on overload to fix his blunder. He decided to go for the truth. “You see, Keira helped me pick out a present for you and this is the perfume that she wears. So, I just keep thinking that she is around.
Kate puckered her lips and Orlando realized he didn’t really make the situation any better. “You couldn’t even choose a gift for me on your own?”
Orlando sighed, taking her hand and tried to calm her down. He wondered if he should slip away to the loo and call Keira and ask what to do. Dumbass! He mentally slapped his head. Asking Keira is what got him into the mess. He sighed, as Kate began screeching loudly about how he better not be thinking about Keira right now while being with his girlfriend.
Stupid perfume.
**********
Orlando slid into the hot tub as Kate lit the candles and followed him. It was his last night with her before he had to fly back down. After managing to placate Kate with a few choice words and kisses, he managed to pull off a relatively error free weekend.
Problem was, he started thinking more about Keira and suddenly realized that he had not so platonic feelings about her. The perfume (which Kate loved so much that she doused herself in it) was not helping matter because he kept on thinking about Keira.
Orlando tipped his head back and gazed up at the stars. He thought of the many times where the cast would gather up on the beach for a bonfire and just drink and relax. They all ended the same way, with him and Keira being the last ones on the beach and falling asleep, only to wake up the next morning with stick necks and backs. But it was those moments that he cherished the most, because he actually got to know Keira.
Lost his thoughts, he felt a pair of lips kiss his chest and then his neck. The jasmine smell combined with the cool night smell was simply intoxicating. He opened his eyes, expecting the soulful brown eyes except they were blue and brown.
Orlando yelped, jumping up and then falling underwater. Kate quickly climbed off of him so that he could resurface again.
“Orli!” Kate asked, trying to push away Orlando’s curls as he sputtered up water. “Are you okay baby?”
”Yeah” He said, coughing out his lungs. It wasn’t the water that shocked him more, but the fact that it was Kate who was kissing him and not Keira. He felt a twinge of disappointment and then guilt, as he really shouldn’t be thinking about another girl while with his girlfriend.
“What happened?” She asked with a concerned look. That only made Orlando feels even worse.
“I, um, hit my funny bone on the side of the hot tub.” Orlando said weakly, rubbing his elbow for the effect. Kate frowned and leaned down to kiss his elbow. As the couple became more engrossed in each other, Orlando couldn’t help but think about Keira. As Kate became more passionate with her kisses, Orlando couldn’t help but think.
sh*t.
**********
Orlando sighed, as he finished brushing his teeth. His flight was in a few hours and Kate was going to drop him off before she went back to the movie sets. It had been a long weekend and Orlando was just ready to go back to the Bahamas. And back to Keira.
No! No Keira! She has a boyfriend, Bloom. Who she is very much happy with. In fact, you happen to have a girlfriend too. And she happens to be showering right behind you.
Orlando groaned, as Kate stopped her chattering. “Are you okay babe?”
“Yeah!” Orlando said, putting his toothbrush and belongings away. “I just stubbed my toe.”
Kate giggled, “Orli, I didn’t realize you were such a klutz.”
“Neither did I.” Orlando muttered, shoving his shaving cream can into his bag. He forgot to put the cap on and out squirted thick cream. Orlando gritted his teeth, grabbing a towel to wipe the mess with.
“What did you say? Oh, Orli, can you please give me my towel? It’s on the counter top.” Kate said, turning the shower off.
Orlando was ready to stomp his foot. He used her towel to clean up his shaving cream mess. He spotted another towel on the counter top, right next to the bottle of Tender Touch perfume. He growled, feeling his blood pressure rise because of the stupid perfume.
”Orlando?” Kate asked, “My towel?”
”Sorry about that.” Orlando handing her the towel. Suddenly, he got a terrible urge to smash the stupid pink bottle. It cost him getting yelled at by his girlfriend (which the paparazzi got a nice picture of), getting bruised, having to endure a nightmare of actually buying the perfume and then having unholy thoughts about one of his best friends.
Before Orlando could even rationalize his thinking, his hand shot out and knocked the perfume bottle off the counter. As Kate stepped out of the shower, the bottle flew off the counter and his the floor.
CRASH! The smell of jasmine and musk immediately enveloped the entire bathroom. The floor had a large puddle of the perfume, mixed with the pink shards of the bottle.
”Orlando!” Kate yelled stepping back to avoid the shards of glass. “That was my perfume!”
Orlando bent down to clean up the mess with his towel. He effectively hid his smile as he felt a sense of triumph from smashing the bottle. The perfume was plain evil. It made him feel differently about Keira, in ways he was not allowed to feel about her.
The only person that deserved to smell like jasmines was Keira.
)Perfumania
“What do you get a girl that you just started dating?” Orlando Bloom wandered into Keira’s trailer, flopping down on her sofa.
Keira swiveled around in chair, closing her laptop. “Sorry, I haven’t had experience in this field.” She smirked as Orlando listlessly flipped her off.
“For future reference, I must remember not to start dating a girl right around her birthday. I don’t even know what she likes!” Orlando whined, propping himself up on the arm of the sofa.
Keira pursed her lips. “Hmm, that’s true. Why don’t you get her jewelry?”
“But that means I’m serious about her. I don’t know if I am.” Orlando said, kicking off his shoes and crossing his arms.
Keira sighed, “What about a book?”
Orlando shook his head, “She doesn’t have time to read. Kate is just as busy as us because she is shooting Blue Crush.”
“What about a purse?” Keira said, already guessing Orlando’s answer.
“She already has a ton. She collects them.” Orlando sighed, “Who the hell does that?”
“Every single girl?” Keira cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrow. Orlando glared at her.
“You aren’t helping you know.” He stated in a matter of fact tone.
Keira’s mouth dropped open. “Bollocks! You just shot down every one of my ideas. I want you to come up with a good idea.”
Orlando pouted, looking very much like a 2 year old. “What about…a photo frame with a picture of us in it?”
“Awww!” Keira said, “That’s a good idea. Sweet but not too mushy.”
Orlando hit head on the back of the sofa. “Too bad we don’t have any pictures together.”
Keira snorted and then grinned, “I have an idea! Let me photoshop one for you.”
Orlando stared at her, “Are you serious? I told you! I don’t need your idea’s.”
“That’s not what you said when you meandered in here, breaking my peace and quiet.” Keira said, sticking her tongue out at him.
Orlando sighed, closing his eyes. “I thought you could help me since you are a girl. So far, you are failing miserably.”
“Oh I have an idea!” Keira said, “What about perfume?” She waited for Orlando’s answer positive that he wouldn’t say no. After all, it was the only thing they hadn’t mentioned.
“Hmmm…” Orlando trailed off, “That’s not a bad idea! I knew you were useful for something!”
Keira rolled her eyes. “You just said that I was useless.” She pointed out, as Orlando quickly stuffed his feet back into his shoes.
“Come on.” He said, pulling her up and dragging her out of the trailer. “We have some shopping to do.”
**********
Keira sighed, sitting back in the leather chair. After 4 hours of searching for perfume…they were still searching. She was ready to pull out her hair extensions and wrap them around Orlando’s neck.
This was probably the craziest thing Orlando had made her do so far. They had actually taken a helicopter from the Bahamas to mainland Florida and were now avidly searching for the perfect bottle for his beloved.
Keira rolled her eyes as Orlando walked down the line of salesgirls, smelling their wrists and necks. She herself had about 15 different perfumes on in different patches of her skin, which had started to give her a headache. After the perfumes all started blending together on her, Orlando called over 5 different salesgirls and pulled perform on their wrists and necks.
“Could I get some rubbing alcohol?” Keira called out, positive that she was going to pass out from perfume poisoning. She was handed the rubbing alcohol as the other giggling salesgirls came over to use some.
“Nope. None of them. Bring out your next batch of perfume!” Orlando called out to the saleswoman behind the counter. He fell over onto Keira’s lap groaning. “This is a nightmare!”
“Orlando Bloom.” Keira growled, scrubbing her skin red. “If I have to put on an extra layer of makeup and spent another hour in the makeup room tomorrow covering up these rashes, I’m going to kill you and you won’t have to worry about buying anything for your poppet.”
Orlando gave her his special puppy dog eyes. The salesgirls giggled louder, and even Keira had to admit that her heart gave a little flutter. “You know I love you for doing this right? Why don’t you get a perfume too? It’s the least I can do.”
Keira smiled, “That’s sweet, but it’s okay, I’m good with perfume right now.” And after today, for the rest of my life.
“No, I insist. What perfume do you usually wear?” Orlando asked, standing up so he wasn’t crushing Keira anymore.
“Burberry’s Tender Touch.” Keira said, as the saleswoman suddenly materialized out with the perfume. Keira giggled, knowing that the saleswomen were ready for them to leave. There was a cloud of perfume surrounding the counter.
Orlando opened the cap, squirting some onto Keira’s neck. He leaned over to smell as the salesgirls all swooned, wishing that they were in Keira’s shoes.
“Hey! That tickles!” Keira laughed, pushing Orlando away from her neck. He was dangerously close to her cleavage, or lack of. It had a sweet smell of Jasmine and an underlying musk. Orlando immediately recognized the perfume as Keira’s scent.
“Perfect!” Orlando beamed, straightening up. Everyone gave a sigh of relief. “I want two of them please, and gift wrap both of them.”
Keira hopped off the stool. “She is going to love it. I wear it all the time.”
Orlando smirked, “And here I thought it was your natural body odor.”
Keira hit him on the shoulder as Orlando chuckled. “When are you going to give it to her?”
“I’m actually going home this weekend. I don’t shoot for four days, so I think I’ll surprise Kate for her birthday and spend some time with her.” Orlando said, helping her up in the helicopter.
As the helicopter whizzed back to the island, Orlando had no idea what problems the perfume was going to create.
**********
Orlando woke up to a bright and cheery morning, typical of most LA mornings. He groggily pushed himself up when suddenly he suddenly smelled jasmines.
Keira? His sleepy mind processes, as he looked around his girlfriend’s room. Why would Keira be here?
“Good morning sweetie!” Kate chirped, coming into the bedroom. “Thank you so much for the perfume. I absolutely love it!”
Orlando sat up, fully awake now. “Oh! I just thought…” He trailed off as Kate gave him a curious look. “Never mind, I’m glad you like it.”
As Orlando pulled Kate down for a kiss, he couldn’t help but feel like it was Keira that he was kissing. It’s only the perfume.
**********
“Keira, isn’t this a beautiful dog?” Orlando said, crouching down to pet the black lab.
“Did you just call me Keira?” Kate asked, putting her hands on her hips.
“Uh…” f**k Orlando didn’t even realize the slip of his tongue until now. “You see…”
“This is the second time you have called me Keira.” Kate screeched, close to hitting her boyfriend. “It’s not exactly a good sign when you call your girlfriend by a different girl’s name, especially when you go around kissing that said girl.”
“Kate, I have to kiss her, its part of the movie.” Orlando said, taking his girlfriend into his arms. His mind was on overload to fix his blunder. He decided to go for the truth. “You see, Keira helped me pick out a present for you and this is the perfume that she wears. So, I just keep thinking that she is around.
Kate puckered her lips and Orlando realized he didn’t really make the situation any better. “You couldn’t even choose a gift for me on your own?”
Orlando sighed, taking her hand and tried to calm her down. He wondered if he should slip away to the loo and call Keira and ask what to do. Dumbass! He mentally slapped his head. Asking Keira is what got him into the mess. He sighed, as Kate began screeching loudly about how he better not be thinking about Keira right now while being with his girlfriend.
Stupid perfume.
**********
Orlando slid into the hot tub as Kate lit the candles and followed him. It was his last night with her before he had to fly back down. After managing to placate Kate with a few choice words and kisses, he managed to pull off a relatively error free weekend.
Problem was, he started thinking more about Keira and suddenly realized that he had not so platonic feelings about her. The perfume (which Kate loved so much that she doused herself in it) was not helping matter because he kept on thinking about Keira.
Orlando tipped his head back and gazed up at the stars. He thought of the many times where the cast would gather up on the beach for a bonfire and just drink and relax. They all ended the same way, with him and Keira being the last ones on the beach and falling asleep, only to wake up the next morning with stick necks and backs. But it was those moments that he cherished the most, because he actually got to know Keira.
Lost his thoughts, he felt a pair of lips kiss his chest and then his neck. The jasmine smell combined with the cool night smell was simply intoxicating. He opened his eyes, expecting the soulful brown eyes except they were blue and brown.
Orlando yelped, jumping up and then falling underwater. Kate quickly climbed off of him so that he could resurface again.
“Orli!” Kate asked, trying to push away Orlando’s curls as he sputtered up water. “Are you okay baby?”
”Yeah” He said, coughing out his lungs. It wasn’t the water that shocked him more, but the fact that it was Kate who was kissing him and not Keira. He felt a twinge of disappointment and then guilt, as he really shouldn’t be thinking about another girl while with his girlfriend.
“What happened?” She asked with a concerned look. That only made Orlando feels even worse.
“I, um, hit my funny bone on the side of the hot tub.” Orlando said weakly, rubbing his elbow for the effect. Kate frowned and leaned down to kiss his elbow. As the couple became more engrossed in each other, Orlando couldn’t help but think about Keira. As Kate became more passionate with her kisses, Orlando couldn’t help but think.
sh*t.
**********
Orlando sighed, as he finished brushing his teeth. His flight was in a few hours and Kate was going to drop him off before she went back to the movie sets. It had been a long weekend and Orlando was just ready to go back to the Bahamas. And back to Keira.
No! No Keira! She has a boyfriend, Bloom. Who she is very much happy with. In fact, you happen to have a girlfriend too. And she happens to be showering right behind you.
Orlando groaned, as Kate stopped her chattering. “Are you okay babe?”
“Yeah!” Orlando said, putting his toothbrush and belongings away. “I just stubbed my toe.”
Kate giggled, “Orli, I didn’t realize you were such a klutz.”
“Neither did I.” Orlando muttered, shoving his shaving cream can into his bag. He forgot to put the cap on and out squirted thick cream. Orlando gritted his teeth, grabbing a towel to wipe the mess with.
“What did you say? Oh, Orli, can you please give me my towel? It’s on the counter top.” Kate said, turning the shower off.
Orlando was ready to stomp his foot. He used her towel to clean up his shaving cream mess. He spotted another towel on the counter top, right next to the bottle of Tender Touch perfume. He growled, feeling his blood pressure rise because of the stupid perfume.
”Orlando?” Kate asked, “My towel?”
”Sorry about that.” Orlando handing her the towel. Suddenly, he got a terrible urge to smash the stupid pink bottle. It cost him getting yelled at by his girlfriend (which the paparazzi got a nice picture of), getting bruised, having to endure a nightmare of actually buying the perfume and then having unholy thoughts about one of his best friends.
Before Orlando could even rationalize his thinking, his hand shot out and knocked the perfume bottle off the counter. As Kate stepped out of the shower, the bottle flew off the counter and his the floor.
CRASH! The smell of jasmine and musk immediately enveloped the entire bathroom. The floor had a large puddle of the perfume, mixed with the pink shards of the bottle.
”Orlando!” Kate yelled stepping back to avoid the shards of glass. “That was my perfume!”
Orlando bent down to clean up the mess with his towel. He effectively hid his smile as he felt a sense of triumph from smashing the bottle. The perfume was plain evil. It made him feel differently about Keira, in ways he was not allowed to feel about her.
The only person that deserved to smell like jasmines was Keira.
